I mentioned during week one of the “Triple C” challenge that I wanted to gradually make each week in this challenge a bit more vulnerable—pushing you ever-so-slightly out of your comfort zone. So far I believe I’ve kept the challenges fairly safe and mild. But this week it’s time to ramp it up a tad. 😉
One of the things I’ve noticed over my 28 years of marriage is that …
[bctt tweet=”When I stay in my comfort zone with my spouse, things end up becoming uncomfortable. #stretchandgrow #marriagematters” username=”BethSteffaniak”]
My husband and I are the types of people who are not satisfied with mediocre, and especially not with a bad relationship. We are willing to challenge the status quo, trying new and perhaps better ways of handling situations that arise in our marriage constantly.
I think that is one of the main reasons why we’ve been able to remain and be “less-messy” than those “very messy” years of marriage.
I know for some of you, your marriage has been in such a long downward spiral that you can’t imagine things ever changing for the better. And you may be the only one in the relationship who is stepping out of your comfort zone, which makes it seem all the more daunting and hopeless.
Certainly, the fact that both my husband and I were willing to step out of our comfort zones made it easier and quicker to get to a better place. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get your marriage to a better place too! It just means it may take you longer and the climb may be harder and more painful.
That’s where and when your relationship with God will need to be Your comfort and source of strength.
And never forget that with “God in and through you” …
[bctt tweet=”You can make your marriage better by simply being a better spouse one day at a time. #beabetterspouse #Godempoweredmarriage” username=”BethSteffaniak”]
That’s not so hard to accomplish really.
Now! On to the task of being a better spouse one day at a time …
Write your spouse a love letter—telling him or her one physical characteristic you find attractive and why, one character quality you admire, one personality characteristic you envy, and one accomplishment you are proud of in your mate. Then leave it under his/her pillow for a pleasant surprise at bedtime.
Make sure to wear something your husband or wife likes. Also make sure you look your best by showering, doing your hair and (if a wife) your makeup so that you impress and attract your spouse to you today.
Ask your mate how s/he feels about a problem (doesn’t have to be about you or your marriage). Just let it be about something they’ve experienced lately. Then validate what your spouse feels by saying something like, “I can understand why you would feel that way. That must be so difficult. How can I help?” For more on this read my post, Validating Your Spouse’s Feelings.
Make your mate’s favorite meal and light some candles for ambiance while you eat. OR take your spouse out to eat at his/her favorite restaurant.
Work on giving your spouse good eye contact today. Read Jill Savage’s stellar post here on why that is a lost art for many couples.
Let your mate have the remote control all to him or herself for one evening, then watch all of their favorite television programs without complaint. 😉
Plan a special activity like going on a picnic or taking a walk at sunset with your spouse. Then prepare your bedroom and your heart for a sizzling “coming home party” for the two of you that evening between the sheets! (If sex is too difficult for you, show your spouse affection in some way by initiating a cuddle, kiss or hug instead.)
What are some creative ideas you’ve used to connect with your spouse that could be added to the list this week?
What says “I love you” to your spouse more than anything else?