My Messy Life! Can You Relate?

I’m struggling and I don’t know where to begin to tell you exactly how or what variety of issues I’m facing. Thankfully, my marriage is not one of those issues at the moment. That said, please realize that we still have WAY far to go and have many messy moments that keep us humble and reminded of our human condition!

It’s just been a tough year for me. I’ve talked about my diagnosis of breast cancer last October, but that’s just one of a number of challenges I’ve had this year. And it’s almost like with each challenge that’s come along, other challenges are created due to the original challenge. Unfortunately, that’s not where it ends! As each new challenge gets added to that “ball of trouble,” it escalates in speed, like a huge snowball gathering force and power … and I’m the one at the bottom of the hill! Yikes!

I keep trying to do what needs to be done or addressed today, but it’s never really enough to catch up. I find myself procrastinating on certain tasks because I don’t have the emotional energy to deal with them and almost daily fight the pull to “waste time”—to lose myself in Pinterest, photo editing, shopping or anything that provides a temporary escape.

I’ve tried to figure out what things are causing this overloaded schedule or overwhelmed feeling, but I don’t think it’s even the amount of troubles—although that’s certainly a factor. I think it is Satan doing his best to discourage and distract me.

And more importantly, I think God is trying to get my attention in this overwhelming year! I think …

He’s training me to keep my eyes on Him, no matter what the circumstances look like or the feelings in the pit of my stomach feel like.

I don’t really fully know all that I’m going to change yet. I do know that I will be cutting back more here at Messy Marriage. I won’t be able to engage as much or read your blog posts as much. I will also be cutting back in areas of my church ministry. I’ve been cutting back on my responsibilities around my home, with a husband who supports me letting go of certain tasks to him and our sons. Thank God for that!

Additionally, there are ministries and things I feel God calling me to do, and times when I feel Him calling me to just be with Him.

And I can’t do it all and keep these callings God’s given me as my priority.

Something’s got to give!

I will be going with my husband in May to Peter and Geri Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Conference in Queens, New York, with a week of vacation to follow. I really, really need this time of refreshing and being refueled! Please, pray for me in this!

If there’s anything you can take away from this, I hope it’s that sometimes life gets so busy or so challenging that … 

Maybe you have sacrificed “the best” in your life or marriage in an effort to do many good things. Perhaps it’s time to readjust your life and priorities there too. If you’re struggling in this way, please let me know and I’ll be sure to pray for you!

What challenges are you facing in your marriage? In your parenting? In your career, calling or profession?


How have you brought balance to your life in the past when it’s spiraled out of control? 

11 responses to “My Messy Life! Can You Relate?”

  1. Carrie@Let Hearts Bloom Avatar
    Carrie@Let Hearts Bloom

    I can certainly relate. When things and relationships get hard, I can easily be distracted into doing something – anything! – to keep my mind busy. As long as it isn’t confronting the actual issue, I’ve done it! Best wishes to you as you clear your plate and spend more time with the One who matters most. Blessings! Visiting from Sunday Stillness.


  2. Oh my! I can feel how overwhelmed you are and know that feeling all too well. My one constant through all the messiness, brokenness, and challenges that come my way is the One – Jesus Christ-who reminds me daily that spending time with Him is where I should focus. I am praying for you and will continue daily to ask God to make His presence known to you in a way that brings you a sense of comfort and peace. You, my friend, have been such an influence in my life and it is time for you to let others care for you. Many hugs are coming your way! Love you!


  3. I’m a big believer in seasons. And for those who love the busy, productive life, these seasons of dormancy and rest can be a bit unsettling. But I seem to have met Christ at a deeper level when I wasn’t buzzing around, when I had no strength to do more than function, when I was forced to be still because I was so completely broken.
    May you find that He meets you here in an extraordinary way, dear friend. I so look forward to meeting you soon …


  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Dear Beth, you’re in my prayers.

    As illness savages my life – I can no longer safely drive, and by evening I’m usually incoherent with pain (so I am told, I can’;t remember evenings!) – I’ve found a measure of freedom.

    First, I’m replaceable. This is comforting – I was a paramilitary, and we took cruel casualties, bit the attitude “everyone dies, and it don’t mean nothin’!” both helped to ensure effective continuity, and stripped away the sentimentality usually associated with death.

    We’ll meet up in a better place, that’s all. Ooh-rah, and we’ll get through the Pearly Gates with breaching charges.

    Second, pain is irrelevant. At the end of the day, what I’ve done will stand. Auguste Renoir was afflicted with rheumatoid arthritis in his later life, and once his friend Henri Matisse came to Renoir’s studio, and found the master working, in obvious agony.

    “”Why do you punish yourself?” cried the younger man.

    Renoir smiled, and said, “The pain passes, Matisse, but the beauty remains.”

    I’m gonna make the beauty, and I’m going to die trying. Everything else is BS.

    Third, I get some benefits. I can;t take pain meds…I have PTSD and they make me a rather dangerous person to be around. My doctor suggested cheap cigars to counter pain and nausea. When I asked about the long-term effects, he told me I don’t HAVE a long term.

    Well, all right, then.

    I guess my point is that I’ve learned a little bit about God’s world through my own situation, and it’;s a lot closer to Helmand than Hallmark.


  5. Oh, this is a tough one, realizing we have to cut some things out. I’ll be praying that you’re able to find the right balance, Beth. You’ve been through so much this past year. May God bless you with much rest next month as you travel to the conference and enjoy the week’s vacation.

    “He’s training me to keep my eyes on Him, no matter what the circumstances look like or the feelings in the pit of my stomach feel like.” Yes! Thanks, friend.


  6. Lifting you up to our Father, Beth, where you will find rest for your soul.


  7. So sorry it has been a busy/hard year….. it is so good that you are cutting back on things…. for your health and your walk w/ the Lord. So glad you have a supportive husband also. May God bless you with wisdom on what to trim out of your schedule…..and also bless you with healing. 🙂


  8. Oh I so appreciate your honesty, Beth. Cut back and fill up on what’s best. God’s blessings on you and your family as you take the courageous steps toward figuring out the right balance (although I’m not a fan of that word, really.) I’m sensing the hamster wheel has been speeding up in my own life, too – my to-do lists, my ministry opportunities, my darn technology addiction – and I want to break free. You’ve inspired me… once again. Hugs!


  9. Oh my dear friend Beth, my heart aches for you! I am praying for you and am here if you need me. It is a season and you will get through it. I’m so glad you’re getting away soon. Let me know if you need to talk before Sunday, ok? Love you!


  10. Beth, I am lifting you up in prayer. it has been quite the rough year for you and it’s hard to imagine how you’ve kept to your online schedules and presence, on top of your other responsibilities. God’s grace, I believe! May you be refreshed in His presence. I’ve been learning to slow down and give attention to the most important things. I am not there yet. But I am learning it’s also a daily choice and that makes the journey easier.


  11. Oh, Beth, it sounds like we are in similar places. I’ve been floundering a bit lately too. Thanks for your honesty here. It does help to know we don’t walk alone. Hugs to you. Enjoy your time of refreshing. Praying it does good work in your heart.


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