Most broken relationships don’t have one offender and one victim who never swap roles. Most broken relationships involve two flawed and sinful humans who’ve hurt each other, sometimes deeply and often continuously. This is often especially true in marriage.

And don’t forget that typically the people involved can’t see the extent to which they’ve hurt each other, nor the many losses the other has experienced in the conflict. Naturally, there may be one person who has done more damage than the other,* but in general, …

[Tweet ” Reconciliation involves the broken bending of each other’s hearts to the other.”]

None of this can be accomplished, of course, without the empowering grace of God!

As we approach reconciliation, it’s easy to move back into a guarded or even prideful position, even if we’ve committed ourselves to forgiving each other. Satan will tempt you to throw your relationship away and will convince you that you’re never going to be treated respectfully. He’ll also stir up any righteous indignation you may still have lingering, which will cause you to struggle to see the good in each other.

But even if Satan isn’t involved in bringing your reconciliation to a screeching halt, we, as humans, often get derailed by our own selfish ambitions. So be on the lookout for either possibility at this vulnerable time.

Now, with that vulnerability in mind, it becomes imperative that we yield to God before we move toward rebuilding our relationship.

You can begin this process by praying {daily would be great!} the principles below, then commit yourself to “live them out” through the power of Christ …

• We ask you, God, to soften our hearts to the hurts and losses we’ve done to each other.
• We ask you, Father, to reveal what is unhealthy in our hearts and to know the hurtful choices we’ve made within our relationship.
• We ask you, Father, to help us lovingly communicate the truth through boundaries that are for the health of our relationship and the good of each other.
• We are committed to releasing any additional hurts we experience in this relationship to you, Lord, knowing you are our Strength, Protector and Redeemer!

We cannot hope to reconcile until we have bended our knees and hearts to God—recognizing our own sins and hard-heartedness in this relationship mess whether we’re the offender, the offended or both.

No amount of recognizing the hurt or spelling out what needs to change will make a difference without this humble yielding to God and each other first. I’ll be discussing how to communicate that “truth” and the healthy boundaries we need to communicate in a wounded relationship next week. I hope you’ll keep coming back!

How can you relate to the vulnerability spoken about here?

How have you dealt with the pride and defensiveness that often comes rushing back as we seek to reconcile?

*If you’re a victim who bears no responsibility, then you’re most likely a victim of a crime or abuse where reconciliation is most likely not a healthy, safe or wise choice. Typically God does not “require” us to reconcile in these situations. I’m not attempting to address these kinds of situations in this post—since they are multi-faceted and have many spiritual directions and implications. However, some of the same principles for reconciliation or future interactions still hold true across the board.

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* To read the previous post in our ongoing series on forgiveness click – Pathway to Reconciliation

Joining with  Works for Me Wednesday, Marriage, Motherhood and Missions,  To Love Honor and Vacuum, Whimsical Wednesday and Wholehearted Wednesday

Now it’s time  for Wedded Wednesday!

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Check out our WW rules here.

I do so love encouraging all of you and visiting your lovely places around the web, but I’ve found that I cannot get around to all who linkup each Wednesday—especially as the link-up and my blogging responsibilities grow. So I’ve decided to try to visit the blogs of those who are “early linkers” and those who comment or connect with me in some way. So if you’d like for me to visit your blog, please join the link up early (typically between 9 and 9:30 p.m. CST on Tuesdays) or leave me a comment. Thanks so much!

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