Letters that Need to be Written

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For eleven years, since 2003, I’ve written individual letters to my sons and husband. Often the letters chronicled what happened throughout the past year along with some words of encouragement and love from me to each of them. I don’t really know how much these letters mean to my family, especially my sons. I think that someday they will mean a lot to them. So for now, I make that my yearly commitment.

Much of my time is devoted to writing basically “letters” to you, my Messy Marriage readers. And I would do that today, if it weren’t for all the many obligations and responsibilities that have come with cancer. Because of that, I don’t want to put the need to write to you above my family. So today, I’m going to push aside this blog and write to them.

If there’s a “take-away” for you, my reader, it would be to let your family members know how much you love and value them. I don’t know what that will look like for you. Some of you may never be “writers” so letters are off your list! But there’s something that you can and should do to remind your family and spouse that you love them deeply!


What is something you can and want to do to remind your spouse and children that you love them?



Linking up with – Marriage MondaysMaking Your Home Sing Monday, Living Proverbs 31, Monday’s Musings, and Playdates with God

10 responses to “Letters that Need to be Written”

  1. bluecottonmemory Avatar

    I like your yearly letter to your sons. I’m not as organized – more as the spirit hits me – but I think my blog is for them more than anyone and I do hope that one day that will mean something. I remember finding a letter my grandmother sent me a long time ago – I’d never seen it (mystery there) but I found it in my mother’s things – and those words meant so much to me:) Praying for you this week – for comfort, refreshing and what your heart needs most!


  2. Dear Beth
    This is so true. When I was a young mother, I asked God to teach me who He really was for I want to teach my children for I want to spend eternity with them. He has taken me through deep, very stormy places, but as He taught me, I taught them. This is my legacy to them.
    Blessings XX


  3. This is beautiful encouragement, Beth. Letters are so valuable for years to come. Texts and emails and phone messages are also good, but they don’t last like letters.


  4. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    It’s a very important thing you’re doing – and you’re right, whatever the significance of your letters is now, it will be greater in the future.

    Having a sense of connection and continuity can be vital for a person’s self-esteem, and indeed their very sense of self. We carry much of this in our hearts, but the ephemera that can be passed down in the form of letters, diaries…even torn-in-half movie tickets play a larger role than their size, scope, or even name – ephemera – would lead us to believe.

    I speak from the other end of the spectrum; I have nothing in the way of memorabilia, and little memory of the first half of my life. It was fairly traumatic, and forgetting seemed to be the healthiest thing I could do. But sometimes I do feel the lack. A person without a past to which to anchor himself is a person without a place at the table. (That’s not a plea for pity – it’s simply an observation of the truth as I have seen it.)

    God bless you in your current struggle, Beth. I do understand, as I am facing something rather similar.



  5. Marie Steinhardt Avatar

    I have enjoyed writing letters to my husband and daughters for years! I agree that the older my children get, the more they will appreciate the time I took to write to them. It’s such a great way to express love, faith and encouragement. My hope is that my girls will see this as an act of love and support and will do the same for their children someday. I think it’s a wonderful gift that you give to your boys Beth. Good for you! Hope you’re having a good day. 🙂 Love you dear friend


  6. Beth … thank you for this thoughtful invitation to start thinking about what it looks like to leave a legacy. I love that we can be purposeful about sharing what’s valuable to us NOW … instead of waiting til someone else designs our legacy for us.
    What do we love, what do we value, what makes us smile and laugh and sing? What do we treasure, what do we want to be remembered for?
    And how best do we leave this legacy for those who follow?


  7. I have kept a journal for Scott since we started dating and I also have journals I started keeping for my kids when we started trying to get pregnant with them. In them I write or tape things that happened or are important. Some of it is so they know me, in case die, but so they know themselves as I saw them with love in my eyes and heart.


  8. Good for you, Beth! And good words of advice. Every year on my boys’ birthdays I try to write to them in a journal I have kept since they were in utero. It brings me closer to them to write words of love over them.


  9. Love this Beth…I haven’t done it on a regular basis for sure. I wish I had! My Three Sons are grown and out of the house and I would give anything to relive those growing up days. Praying for you today. ♥


  10. I have written those letters, too, though not regularly. I have one — in three handwritten copies, one for each son — from a particular day in March in the 90s when they were 9 and under. I told them how much I loved them and enjoyed being their mom. How proud of them I am and how I pray for them. And some of the daily details of that day like when I picked them up after school {single mom me out of school, too — my nursery school teaching job} and the four of us went grocery shopping and because they were all so good we stopped at the playground on the way home. Our words capture moments precious, Beth, and I am sure that some day {I haven’t given these letters to my sons just yet} our young men will relish all we moms did on their behalf. Blessings to you, my friend. I am a little behind online and am going next to read your Caring Bridge update. My love, prayers and thoughts are with you…


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