14 Ways to Make Your Spouse Feel Loved

I’m interrupting my forgiveness series to shine a light, not necessarily on Valentines Day, but on how to make your spouse feel loved and special. I feel like that’s something we should be doing all throughout the year! Can I get an, Amen?!

14 Ways

Here are some ideas {some I’ve tried, and some I hope to try!} to make your spouse feel special …

  1. Write a love note and tuck it into your spouse’s coat pocket to be discovered later in the day.
  2. Write in an attractive journal of all the ways you’re thankful for your spouse for at least a month or more, then give it to your spouse to keep, read and enjoy.
  3. Write a lovely text message to your spouse. For more ideas check out 5 Texts You Should Send Your Spouse.
  4. Take your spouse on a journey down memory lane for date night by visiting several places you and your spouse have loved over the years.
  5. Schedule a boudoir photo session. This is a great Valentines {or gift for any occasion} from a wife to her man!
  6. Write a love poem or encouraging Bible verse on your bathroom mirror with a dry erase pen the night before, to surprise your spouse in the morning.
  7. Have an indoor picnic after you’ve put the kiddos to bed—complete with your favorite beverage and chocolate covered strawberries!
  8. If your spouse loves Root Beer Floats, make this cute basket or “29” other fun gifts that I found at Thirtyhandmadedays.com – “Valentine – You Float My Boat!”
  9. Make a coupon book filled with all the “Because you want to, I’ll ______ with you!” {Fill with coupons of all the many things your spouse likes to do, but that you’ve either resisted or neglected to do with him or her, promising to “fulfill” when redeemed.}
  10. Plan a special mystery date or weekend for the two of you. {Just be sure your spouse will like all of the “mysteries” before you schedule them!}*
  11. Play in the snow {that seems to be everywhere this winter}, but “just with your spouse”—snapping photos and sharing your escapades to Instagram, if that would add fun to you and your spouse’s adventure.
  12. Intentionally smile, kiss and touch all throughout your day with your spouse. {This one sounds like a no-brainer, but I think it’s often a gift we neglect to give our spouses, especially when we’ve been married for a while!}
  13. Sit and visit with your spouse, talking about your day for at least 15 minutes—after dinner, after the kids have gone to bed, or whenever there’s a break in the “action.” To get you going ask your spouse, What was the high and low of your day?
  14. Pray together daily—this can be one of the most intimate things you do as a couple, enhancing all parts of your relationship!


What ideas have you tried or want to try with your spouse that could be added to my list?


I’ll be returning to the Forgiveness series in two weeks with, “Does Forgiveness Forfeit Protection?”  So stay tuned!


Here are some other great posts on this subject that I discovered recently around the web. Check them out …

Kim Hall’sValentines Day: 5 Tips for a Delightful Celebration

Gaye’s Creating a Cycle of Love and Joy in Marriage

J’s7 Sexy Valentine’s Gifts You Can Make

Tyson Cooper’sSome Essential Tips for Gifting Flowers and Making an Occasion Even More Special

*My husband took me on a mystery trip to a B&B and discovered that I didn’t like having to share a bathroom with the couple in an adjoining room. Of course, not every B&B has this set up, but it’s worth investigating and thinking through all the aspects of a surprise or mystery trip.



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29 responses to “14 Ways to Make Your Spouse Feel Loved”

  1. ah … the B&B shared bath would be a bit of a dud … and the photo shoot? well, not so much!
    but I’m liking the picnic and the snow play, the after dinner conversations and the praying together. thanks, Beth!


  2. I actually agree with you not only on the B&B but also the Boudoir shoot, Linda. I included it because I know of many wives who’ve thrilled their hubbies with them–feeling it released their inner vixen! ha! Different strokes for different folks! 😉


  3. Really great tips Beth. I get too serious sometimes and forget to intentionally smile to and at him, will be working on this.
    I remember the last time I did a paper trail for my husband detailing how much I love him and how I am glad to be his wife, he was so blown away. Thanks a lot for sharing, do have a super blessed day!


    1. Yes, that’s me too, Ugochi. I get in “the zone” as I call it and forget to give the small gestures of love to my husband. I bet that “paper trail” was a blessing for sure! Thanks for stopping by, linking up and always being an encouragement to me, my friend!


  4. […] Sharing With: Living Proverbs, Titus 2sday, Wedded Wednesday […]


  5. Great list, Beth! Thanks for sharing!


    1. I just realized…the only thing I would change on this post is the title. I’ve learned the hard way that we cannot ‘make’ anyone feel loved…but we can do a lot to ‘help’ them feel loved.
      Blessings to you!


      1. Yes, I thought about that but didn’t want to get too wordy in my title. But really it’s about “encouraging” our spouse to feel loved and special. So, point taken, my friend!


      2. Yes, “encouraging.” I like that!
        I absolutely know what you mean on the titles. I tend to naturally lean toward lengthy well-defined titles. I’ve been working on retraining myself to select very concise impactful titles.
        Sometimes it works well…other times I feel like I’m sacrificing meaning for the sake of brevity…
        Laura Hillenbrand has become my new hero…the single word title “Unbroken” so beautifully captures the heart of her story.


  6. I love that we are thinking alike today! I posted a list on Haven Help Us this week, too. It’s so important to love our spouse intentionally. Thank you for showing up here regularly to remind us, Beth!


    1. We are? Well, aren’t we two “sweet peas in a pod,” Becky?! I’ll have to check it out soon. And thanks right back at ya, my friend!


  7. bluecottonmemory Avatar

    Just watching a movie at home together:) A clean kitchen! He’s an Acts of Service love language so when I get things done for him he feels loved:) Making my special hot chocolate:) Wonderful list, Beth!


    1. Yes, paying attention to those love languages means so much, Maryleigh. Sounds like your hubby is also like mine–give him popcorn, a movie and some tasty hot chocolate and he’s feeling pampered and special! Thanks for adding to the list and stopping by to say, hi!


  8. […] Sharing with Grace at Home , Thankful Thursday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Thriving Thursday, Proverbs 31 Thursday, Time Travel Thursday, Recommendation Saturday, Inspire Me Mondays, Motivation Mondays, Living Proverbs 31, Making Your Home Sing, Modest Mondays, Amaze Me Mondays, Playdates with God, Monday Praises, Wedded Wednesday […]


  9. Gaye @ CalmHealthySexy Avatar
    Gaye @ CalmHealthySexy

    These are great reminders and ideas, Beth! Thank you for sharing them. We have been hampered this week by unusually bad weather (that seems to be a theme this winter!), so I need to get creative quickly in making some Valentine’s Day plans. Of course, these are great ideas to use throughout the year!

    Also, thanks so much for sharing my post.


    1. Yes, we’ve got cabin fever here in Illinois too, Gaye. So I’m soaking up all the great and creative ideas floating around the web for Valentines Day, your blog being no exception! Thanks so much for stopping by to encourage me, my friend!


  10. […] with Messy Marriage, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, Pin It Monday, Tuesday Greens,  The Chicken Chick and Create With […]


    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Amanda! And thanks also for linking up, my friend!


  11. I love these ideas Beth! I just laughed at #10 because in the past I’ve tried some “mysteries” which backfired big time! The only sunny side – discovering what NOT to do in future 🙂 I am trying a few new creative things – one has already been a blessing 😉 . Thanks for more inspiration and encouragement!

    (Lori, over at Encourage Your Spouse, had some great ideas in her post today – 51 ways to be the reason your spouse smiles today” . http://encourageyourspouse.com/51-ways-reason-spouse-smiles-today/ )


  12. Sweet list! I especially love praying together daily. I know the impact that can have on a relationship. Blessings today for strength and continued healing!


    1. Yes, Mary! I love that one too because it has made such a huge difference in my marriage once we began to do that daily together. Thanks for coming by, my sweet friend. Hugs to you!


  13. Andrew Budek-Schmeisser Avatar
    Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Beth, this is a great list. What I might add is –

    When your spouse is not around, do a job that is normally his or her responsibility, but is soundly loathed (like cleaning the toilet, or removing dead fronds from palm trees). Don’t mention it to them – let it be discovered in due course.

    Another thought – a lot of these items are great for a strong relationship, but I’d love to see a list that’s applicable for a marriage that’s going through a bad patch. Mine did – and I wanted to show love but things like love notes were typically discarded, only half-read, without comment.

    It would be great to learn how not to withdraw…



    1. I love this idea, Andrew. I think you’re so right about this being for those who have a fairly good relationship already. So many who are struggling might find these to be out of their comfort zones–although that might not be a reason to refrain from doing any of them. But I completely agree that another list should be written and it will be something I’ll certainly be sharing down the line! Thanks so much for adding to the discussion and giving me a great “spin-off!”


  14. Great ideas, Beth, with some we haven’t tried yet. And #9 Because you want to, I’ll……………….with you. LOL — Mine will read Because you want to, I’ll make you a tuna noodle casserole but I won’t eat it with you. 🙂 How my man loves tuna noodle!! Have a fun and blessed Valentine’s Day with your hubby and I will too 🙂


    1. Ha! That’s too funny, Sheila! I know there are many things my hubby would like me to do that are out of my comfort zone. Sometimes that’s the act of love all in itself! Thanks for stopping by and I hope your Valentines Day was full of love, romance and “tuna!” 😉


  15. Yes, I know what you mean about the week being filled with so many obligations and unexpected responsibilities, Judith. I really appreciate you making the time to stop by anyway! And glad that you like the list, my friend!


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