Today we are excited to have fellow blogger, Joe Pote of Redeemed as our guest and host of Wedded Wednesday! Joe writes on all sorts of spiritual and biblical topics but often fleshes out biblical insights that are sometimes confusing or unclear surrounding divorce.
Joe also has a new book, So You are a Believer … Who has been through Divorce … Check it out at the link as well as below! Joe is generously giving away three copies of his book and all you have to do to enter is comment on this post by Thursday, Jan. 16th before midnight (CST).
I {Joe} frequently hear people express the post-divorce regret of waste. Wasted years, wasted love, wasted effort, wasted prayers, wasted emotional investment…seemingly, all for naught.
Prior to divorce, many people invest several years in their marriage relationship. As they encounter issues, they work harder, pray more fervently, and seek counsel, all with the goal of healing and improving their marriage relationship.
If all the hard work results in a healthy marriage relationship, it’s counted a wise investment. But when it doesn’t work out…when we invest that much of ourselves into a relationship, over several years, and it all ends in divorce…it seems SUCH A WASTE!
In a recent blog comment, one lady said:
You have no idea–well, maybe you do–to feel guilty about loving someone because that someone you loved did what they did and completely rejected and threw away the best you had to give–to sum up a significant portion of your life with the words “bad choice”…
Another lady in a recent e-mail said:
I grieve for the godly marriage that I never had, for the cruelty, adultery, rejection and wasted years I endured in my marriage … I grieve for the loss of my house and having to start again in mid-life.
I completely understand!
I’ve been there…seventeen years in an abusive marriage … seventeen years of loving, praying, hoping, caring, believing … of giving all my heart and soul … all to end in divorce.
“God,” I cried, “Why? What was the use? Why did you give me such a strong vision for a godly marriage and a united family? Why did you let me relentlessly pursue that vision for so many years, if it was just going to end in divorce?”
But, you see, that’s where I was mistaken. The divorce was not the end. Yes, it was the end of that marriage and of that relationship, but it was far from the end of the story!
In Matthew 25:40, Jesus, speaking of the coming judgment, says to the true believers,
“Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.”
God calls us to love people; to love deeply; to love sacrificially; to lay down our lives for one another.
Jesus promises that, when His children love sacrificially, He accepts all that we do as being done for Him!
Think about it! As believers in Christ, our greatest and deepest covenant is with God. Our most enduring covenant partner says that all the love we lavish on others, all the work, all the prayers, all the effort, He accepts as being given to Him!
For the believer in Christ, there is no such thing as wasted love or wasted effort.
Every gift you gave to your former spouse, Christ accepts as a gift given to Him. Every time you chose to set aside your own pride, or your own needs, for the sake of your marriage partner, Jesus accepts as you having made a sacrificial decision for Him. Every tear you shed, Jesus has stored in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). Every prayer you prayed, Jesus accepts as your heart being poured out to Him, in love. And He promises to lavishly pour out His love on you, for all eternity!
All that effort in your previous marriage was not wasted at all. It was a heartfelt offering to your eternal covenant partner, Jesus Christ!
What a Redeemer!
What event in your life has left you grieving the wasted effort?
Even though Messy Marriage is a blog about marriage, very often divorce is unavoidable. Also, many of you who’ve divorced and remarried, may find this book to be a great help in sorting out any fears, regrets or misunderstandings you may have about that painful choice. Joe’s book will help clear out the clutter for you and give you biblical “handles” for dealing with the lingering doubts you may have.
As I mentioned earlier, Joe’s book will be given away to three winners who comment on this guest post. Even if you’re not divorced, you might want to give this as a gift to a friend who is, so be sure to enter to win today! Deadline for commenting and entering is Thursday, Jan. 16th at midnight (CST).
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Congratulations to the winners – Brandee Shafer, Rick Dawson, and Kim Adams Morgan! Thanks to all of you for participating and encouraging Joe while he’s been our guest and host this Wedded Wednesday!
Joining with Works for Me Wednesday, To Love Honor and Vacuum, Whimsical Wednesday and Wholehearted Wednesday
Now it’s time for Wedded Wednesday!
WW rules:
Write in any way you feel inspired about marriage, parenthood or anything that is spiritually encouraging.
- Enter in a permalink directly to your blog post and not the main URL to your blog.
- Be sure to include a link to Wedded Wednesday or add the WW button (code is in MM’s footer) to your current blog post and/or sidebar.
- Visit and comment on at least one other person’s blog that’s linked up here.
- Please no offensive or inappropriate content or sexually explicit images!
Optional but encouraged:
- Consider setting up your Gravatar profile and Disqus Profile with a link to your blog … it makes it so much easier for all of us to find those of you who blog!
- If you have the time, visit those who visit your blog and comment at their place as well … sort of a “Say it forward.”
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