On my trip to the UK, there were so many “God moments”—moments when I knew that God was busy at work doing things like only He can do! One of those moments was when my husband and I were on the Tube (The underground subway system in London). BTW, we became quite skilled in reading the Tube map and finding our way around by that third day in London! Just sayin’!
Back to my story: I carried my AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors) bag with me to help carry the souvenirs we collected each day. On the bag are several mentions of Christian counseling organizations in various forms. That was what caught the eye of another Tube passenger from London …
So this guy struck up a conversation with me to find out why I would have that kind of bag. When I told him I was a counselor/life-coach and that I had a marriage blog he should check out, he said, “Well, it’s probably from a Christian point of view, right?” He said this like it was “THE place” to sign up for the Bubonic Plague!
He went on to challenge me to a friendly debate about how “they (whoever ‘they’ are) should come up with an alternative to marriage because it’s just too risky and hard to stay faithful for your entire life.”
I told him, “All of life is risky.”
I don’t think I said this next quote exactly word for word, but this was the gist of what I went on to say (and think),
“You can spend your life risking in relationships that bring sensual pleasure for a short time and hop on to another risky relationship till that one runs out of euphoria and so on. Or you can risk really giving yourself to one person for all of your life—working through the challenges that come, but trusting that working through those hard times with God’s help are what forge and bond you to your mate like no other uncommitted relationship can.”
I don’t think I convinced him. But I sensed underneath his “devils advocate” exterior, he had either …
a) been hurt and did not want to spend his life committed to one person who could potentially bruise and batter his heart over and over again.
b) felt that a relationship was like a box of Milk-duds, only good for a moment and when the deliciousness was completely devoured, chuck it in the trash (or “rubbish” – British speak!) and search for another shot of dopamine—maybe this time in the form of a “Bit-O-Honey,” etc.
It’s easy even in marriage to come to conclusion “a” whenever your spouse hurts you over and over and you don’t think you can take one more day of the abuse.
It’s easy to also come to conclusion “b” when your heart hungers for more than your spouse can realistically provide you.
If you find yourself focusing on either of those thoughts in marriage or life, then don’t forget one thing …
He’s the One who can come into our battered and broken hearts and heals the cracks with His amazing grace.
He’s the One who can satisfy our longings like no other human can!
Take the risk of giving your heart and broken marriage to Him today. Now, that’s a risk I know you won’t regret!
When have you felt the way this guy on the “Tube” felt and what helped you overcome those feelings?
What hardships and tests have you seen God use in your life/marriage to deepen, enrich and bond you to your mate like nothing else?