I was recently pondering the concept of a Trophy Wife. Naturally, Donald Trump came to mind (though, let me be clear that I don’t see him as a “trophy husband”—he’s fooling NO one with that hair!). I am convinced that he is the poster child for all men who trade their current wives for someone younger, thinner, and—to be brutally honest—better looking (artificial as they may be).
I’ve often joked with my husband, Bryan that his trophy wife is ME. Although I am his first (and LAST!!) wife, he has never argued with the statement that I am his trophy wife.
But, deep down inside, I do.
You see, I’m 5 years his senior. While that was no surprise to us when we married, the changes I see in the mirror daily remind me that I’m hitting the place in life where wives seemingly make the transition from vibrant, youthful, cover-girl gal-pals in their prime to (a-hem) middle-aged, set-in-their-ways, hormonal, child-rearers whose bodies are migrating south forEVER.
How do I keep this from affecting our marriage relationship? How do I REMAIN Bryan’s trophy wife??
Firstly, I must remember that my self-worth is not defined by things of this world.
1 Peter 3:3-4 say, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
Then, I must focus on what IS important.
Proverbs 31:10 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” There’s some motivation to look inward!!
I try to exaggerate qualities that Bryan finds attractive in a wife. Here are a few qualities the Bible mentions that are important for a wife to possess in marriage: avoid quarreling (Proverbs 21:9) and be gracious (Proverbs 11:16) and be submissive (Ephesians 5:22-23).
These can be difficult for me. I stress the need for Jesus in my life to put my selfish desires aside and act on Bryan’s behalf rather than what comes easily for me.
Bryan likes when I’m spontaneous (NOT easy!), when I cook his favorite meals or indulge in his favorite activities (which are not always my first choice), and when I spend time taking the kiddos to the park or staffing a lemonade stand (life is so busy!).
Oddly, though Bryan appreciates my homemaking skills—aka obsessive cleaning and organizing (my FAVORITE activities)—they are not the first qualities he looks for in his wife. So, I strive in ways that HE desires to make home a place HE WANTS to be.
In the end, he knows the effort I exert to attempt to go above and beyond his expectations of me. SOMETIMES, I even achieve those goals.
The icing on the cake is when I actually feel appreciated by, adored by, AND attractive to my husband as his “trophy wife.” The times when I KNOW that he is proud to be with me and to be seen with me—HIS TROPHY WIFE—are some of the best moments in my life.
What has your spouse done to make you feel loved and valued in spite of any flaws or limitations you may have?
What can you do to show love to your spouse in a way they might appreciate more?