There are times when we should address a problem and times when we shouldn’t. Often there is confusion about just when or if it’s right to proceed. Here are 8 questions or areas of concern to consider when you’re at that crossroad. My prayer is that they might bring you greater clarity on when to confront and when to surrender the situation to God …

1. Have you prayed about if you should respond? Do you feel God nudging you to talk to your spouse or to wait and let Him deal with your spouse?
2. Have you prayed about how to respond? Have you given yourself time to calm down and have a sense of God’s leading in what to address?
3. Is the person under unusual stress or bothered by some recent event? Would addressing the issue now get lost in the chaos of the moment?
4. Is this a recurring pattern where the person may be unaware of the negative impact it has on you?
5. Have you given your spouse time to calm down? Are you feeling impatient to find resolution rather than caring for the relationship?
6. Have you sincerely and completely acknowledged and apologized for your part? Is that a step you should take before confronting?
7. Have you taken the time to envision and empathize with what your offender might have felt during the conflict? Is your compassion for you spouse equal or even stronger than your anger?
8. Have you discussed the offending actions/attitude with your spouse before and feel confident that he/she knows how you feel? Would confronting again be the best motivator for change?

Joining with NOBH, Works for Me Wednesday and To Love Honor and Vacuum

WW rules:

1. Write in any way you feel inspired about marriage, parenthood or anything that reflects Christ’s redemption in your life.
2. Be sure to include a link to Wedded Wednesday or add the WW button to your current blog post and/or sidebar.
3. Visit and comment on at least one other person’s blog that’s linked up here.

Optional but encouraged:

• Consider setting up your Gravatar profile and Disqus Profile with a link to your blog … it makes it so much easier for all of us to find those of you who blog!
• If you have the time, visit those who visit your blog and comment at their place as well … sort of a “Say it forward.”