Written by Heather Copple
Messy Marriage Team Writer
This past year has been hard.
So much has happened and not all of it good. But then that is life. Thankfully, we don’t always have to like it. I know that I haven’t liked all the changes and I’m sure neither has my husband, Scott.
Let’s start with Scott’s side …
His workplace caught on fire. This caused a series of changes for Scott, which in turn caused a lot of stress for him as well. They had to move to a temporary place, then move to another temporary place, and then finally back to their original shop.
They had to try to salvage any equipment, which meant tearing them down, cleaning them, and hoping that they would work (fire warped some of the pieces). They had to figure out what was lost and what needed to be replaced. They had to build again the five finished doors that were supposed to go to clients. Scott’s hours changed, and changed, and changed. But there was also the waiting, not working, not knowing…
Scott was stressed and still is.
Luckily, God gave him a wife who took the crankiness and sadness in stride. I was Scott’s “safe place.” He could be whomever he needed to be and I would continue to be there for him. He would bite my head off, and drive me crazy being underfoot, when he wasn’t working. I would patiently hold my tongue and come up with fun things to keep him busy (Scott loves shopping, so he did grocery runs and errands).
I kept in mind that God had a reason for this and I just needed to be the physical embodiment of love and understanding that God had for Scott.
My life also has had its share of turmoil …
My depression acted up and my medical issues got worse. I had several biological family members that I’ve never talked to contact me this past year. And I’ve had to cut all contact with some of them and one of them has cut contact with me. Unfortunately the medical issues and family issues fed the depression and made it even worse. I have been hurting physically and emotionally most of the year.
I try hard to not let my stress affect my friends or family, but the stress affected Scott and our marriage. Again, God gave me a husband who took all of my problems with stride.
Scott has held me as I cried my heart out over the family issues. He has fought with me about how worthless I think I am. He has helped support my decisions whether he agrees or not. He has advocated with the doctors about my care. He accepts that I have limits to my abilities and still does what he can to include me in activities. He tells me when I cross the line. I believe he does these things out of love for me. I believe that he fully understands me better than I do myself sometimes.
All of these issues have overlapped one another many times. These issues could have caused so many fights in our marriage and yet they didn’t. God guided my words and actions towards the man that I love. God blessed me in 1994 when I met Scott. I am thankful everyday.
This past year has been painful, but I can endure it all so long as I have God and Scott to guide, accept, and love me.
Photo by ingridtaylar
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