March’s “Share Your Story” is by
Anna White who blogs at
2Day I Choose
I got married at 20, not purely for love, but because I was running away from home and God and a bad situation as fast as I could.
The first few years we were married I know we both wondered what we had done to ourselves. I remember lying in the dark crying for hours, and not even knowing why.
In our 5th year of marriage, for me, things really reached a breaking point. I felt like a young person trapped in an old person’s life. We were also dealing with being told that I was infertile, even though I didn’t realize at the time how much this was affecting me.
I just wanted to run, run away. To start over somewhere else. To do it all better the next time. I felt so much guilt and shame for feeling this way. No one at church talked about the struggles and the dark places.
A road trip saved us.
We traveled 10,000 miles in six weeks, tent camping around the US. I had decided that if we couldn’t find some connection, some common ground, then after the trip I was leaving. Amazingly when we got away from all the life stresses and the routine, we found each other again.
The foundation was still there, it had just been buried.
We hiked up mountains and through the Redwoods, and there, in the quiet, we started looking in the same direction again.
Are things perfect? No.
We still are always learning. We go to counseling from time to time. We have mentors in our lives.
But I have no doubt that God brought us together and that we are stronger with each other.
The irony here is that we are both counselors. We had all the skills, but needed a transformation of the heart. Also, I wasn’t infertile, and we have 2 daughters now. We celebrated our 10 year anniversary in August, and I look forward to many, many more.
What struggles have you experienced in marriage that have created distance between you and your partner?
How have you dealt with that distance—finding each other again?
Photo by Caitlinator