Messy Marriage Team Member

You’d have to be living under a rock to be unaware of this year’s drought. Add to that the record heat, and you’re walking earth that yearns for water. We’re at a point where an occasional rain won’t even make a dent in the severe deficit that’s affecting our yards and crops. This drought is so severe that underground water lines are cracking and breaking due to settling earth that hasn’t been so deeply dry in years.

Ironic, huh? 

photo by taigasylvan

Droughts are devastating. Slow deprivation of much needed, life-giving resources leads to often irreparable damages.

The drought of 2012 has been wearing on me, but it’s a different kind of drought. To be frank, Bryan and I have not been on a date since January.

Wow – seven months and counting!!!

We see each other daily. We’ve been on vacation together, been out with friends, and enjoyed countless outings with family. We’ve even been surprised with last-minute offers from the grandparents to keep our boys for an impromptu sleepover. However, our “dates” have been nonexistent for most of the year.

To ensure that we’re on the same page, let me define “date.” A date (for us) is time WITHOUT our children, preferably out of the house. Dates don’t have to be fancy—dinner and a movie would suffice.

Dates serve as a reason to purposely get cleaned/fixed/dolled up for our spouse (break out the razor, ladies!), give us an opportunity to focus on our spouse—providing undivided attention, and even create an atmosphere where sparks can fly, hands can touch, uninterrupted kisses can occur, and one thing can lead to ….. you know where!!!

In our defense, we had several circumstances, which led to difficulties in finding time to spend alone together. Firstly, immediately following our last date, we moved into our dream home. Talk about overwhelming!

Right after that, our youngest developed pneumonia causing him to be hospitalized for two nights during the very weekend we’d planned a joint birthday party for him and his brother.

We had doctor’s appointments, projects in our new home, and family vacations scheduled.

Soaring heat tightened our purse strings in anticipation of super-high cooling costs resulting from an inefficient, over-taxed, nearly-dead air conditioner.

We had a death in the family, our oldest started kindergarten, and our youngest increased his separation anxiety response rather than growing out of it.

Oh, and Bryan’s schedule is so irregular that coordinating times with a sitter that matched his availability are difficult. Sometimes, it really IS easier to just stay home.

But, am I making excuses??

The truth is that we’ve made it to important adult-only functions and meetings. In my heart I know what we NEED to do.

We MUST make dates a priority.

I’m not saying that we have to have one weekly or even monthly, but it has been WAY too long since we’ve connected in this way and I miss spending quality one-on-one time with my hubby. Besides, there’s just something about seeing him dressed in jeans and wearing the cologne he reserves just for me.

I’m getting all sweaty-palmed just thinking about it ….

Luckily, our relationship hasn’t suffered too much from the lack of spending time together in this way. There’s no resentment for not doing it and no one to blame. Yet, I know how much just one date night can recharge our batteries and reaffirm our love and what attracted us to each other years ago.

The LAST thing I want for us is to suddenly be facing an empty nest and realize that the busyness of life has taken over and left us and our relationship behind …

Note to self – schedule Date Night! PRONTO!!!

 

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