I’ve always been an open book—even when I didn’t (and don’t) intend to be. This tendency has become something of a strategy for me over the past 15 years or so. I say “strategy” because it’s something I’ve been very intentional about as I’ve discovered the power of the truth.

Of course, there was a time, when I was too afraid to be completely open about my faults and sins. I’d been hurt by some who I shared my failures and sins with because they were not trustworthy or healthy enough to handle it. After all, there are some risks that come with being authentic …

• You might lose or distance friends who don’t like the standard of honesty you set in the relationship.
• You might appear less healthy by those who think “perfection” instead of authenticity is the goal.
• You might be rejected by those who are too fragile to hear the truth and deal with its implications.

But what if you’re willing to risk all that? What if you want to live in the freedom that comes from truth-telling? Even the Bible promises at least two benefits—prosperity and healing—for those who are good confessors (Proverbs 28:13 and James 5:16).

1. A closer walk with God.
2. A greater closeness and trust with my spouse and others.
3. The freedom to be who I am—warts and all.
4. Freedom from the shame and fear of hiding.
5. Humility being built—confession by confession—in my heart.
6. An ability to hear God’s truth louder and clearer.
7. A greater ability to discern the counterfeit in others.
8. A greater ability to help others with what I’ve learned through my mistakes.
9. A greater comprehension of Christ’s sacrifice for my sins.
10. A greater ability to forgive others for the sins I recognize and confess in my own life.

If you’re struggling in a messy marriage, I believe this is one of the best places to start working—with a strategy to be humble and authentic with your spouse.  

Let me be clear. This isn’t about blasting your spouse with the truth of how they irritate or offend you. This is speaking the truth about your failures and sins.  

And when you do this, you will build a bridge that allows you to reach a spouse who may be unreachable with any other way.