One of the top reasons marriages have trouble or split is due conflicts over money. Usually this begins with one partner who likes to spend while the other one likes to pinch a penny till Lincoln cries “uncle!”
Appropriately, psychologists have discovered that money often becomes a “nurturance” symbol to anyone who has it or uses it. This is true from the time money bought that comforting stuffed animal you had to have as a tot to now when money buys you a car or home that ensures your comfortable status in society.
You might say, “Well, I don’t like to buy things—I like to save money!” I hate to break it to you, but even in that situation you are looking to money to give you a sense of security—knowing there will always be enough for a rainy day.
Thankfully, my husband and I have similar (not the same) perspectives about money. But let me tell you, we’ve certainly clashed at times over the issue. And when we’ve clashed about money, it’s almost always erupted into a humdinger of a fight!
This past week and weekend Gary and I were at the American Association of Christian Counselors Marriage America conference in Orlando, Florida. Since my husband and I live in the Midwest, this was a special treat for both of us. But even better than the sunny skies and fun atmosphere, we look forward to the great tracks/classes we get to attend and the authors and/or speakers we get to rub elbows with.
In fact, I was able to have a cup of coffee with Leslie Vernick, author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (a book that I’ve done a book review on here at Messy Marriage).
Aside from Leslie’s great work with destructive and abusive relationships, one of the track authors/leaders was The Money Couple, Scott and Bethany Palmer who’ve written the book, First Comes Love, Then Comes Money. Scott and Bethany also have a website, The Money Couple with a free inventory that will help you discover what type of money personality you and your spouse have, along with many other free resources that can guide you in how to be better financial managers and navigate the money personality differences you and your spouse may have.
In addition to this information, next week our Messy Marriage Team Member, Stacey Micklevitz will be posting a two-part series (Monday and Wednesday) about how to save a boatload of money by super couponing. So check back next week for some great money saving tips!
Marriage Monday @ Chrysalis