This has been an incredibly busy month for me, and it’s only the 17^th of October! What will the rest of the month look like? And with all this busyness, I’m reminded of one very important aspect of my marriage …

Now, I have to say that October has been a really busy month for my hubs, Gary, as well. It kind of gives me a dreaded shiver when I think that we’re not even to the busy holiday season yet. Yikes! But, no matter how busy this month has been, there’s one thing that we’ve managed to keep intact—our time together.

There was a time, especially when our kids were small, when we let our children or our jobs trump our time together. As for me, I would let those cute little boogers suck up any free time or energy I had, and then I’d have nothing left to give to my husband. Over time, making our “independent pursuits” the priority over our relationship, was the cause of many an argument and a feeling of resentment. So at some point …

This meant not just saying we wanted more time together, but discussing what times would be the best to do this and actually getting our calendars out to schedule it! (That can be the toughest part!) So for about the past 10 years now, we’ve had what we refer to as “Talk Time,” where we carve out about one hour on an evening during the week. We also make time to go on a date at least every other week. And thankfully, our jobs allow us to both take our day off on Friday, so that we can devote that time to being together as well.

Now, I know that many couples don’t have the luxury of having even “one day off” together. But my point is that making time each day and each week to touch base with each other is so vital to staying connected and not consumed with our many responsibilities. It really doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it (although I’ll share some hints very soon), but you must make it a priority or all the other priorities in your life will overtake it.

Now, what do you do if your spouse doesn’t see the need to spend intentional times together? That’s when things get a bit more complicated, but it’s a common problem for messy married couples. So I’ll be addressing just how to deal with this issue in the very near future.