Messy Marriage is One Year Old!

I can’t believe it’s already been one year since I started “Messy Marriage!” And around here at MM, we are (as my oldest son would say) “so stoked” that we can not only unveil a new look, but also give away a bunch of books to you, our readers! Yay!!!!

Recently, I was able to attend the AACC* convention in Nashville where many great authors were giving away one signed copy of their newest books to anyone willing to wait in a ridiculously long line. And since I love my MM readers, I was more than willing to wait in FIVE lines throughout the week to get 5 signed copies to give away!!

But that’s not where it ends! I have one more signed book that has been graciously donated to me and four other unsigned books donated to give us a whopping total of 10 books for our anniversary celebration giveaway contest! Translation: 10 different people can win one of the books in this giveaway!

All you have to do to be entered into the giveaway contest is:

1) Tell me either one specific thing you’ve appreciated about our MM blog

2) Tell me one specific thing you’d like to hear us write about or provide as a resource in the future

Now, if you are concerned about giving your identity, no worries! Just comment anonymously and then email me your name (my email address can be found at the “Contact” tab). Tell me which comment is yours, and your entry will be secured with assurance of confidentiality.

Now, let me show you the books that are in our fantastic giveaway!

Letting Go of Worry

by Linda Mintle (signed copy)

Keeping Your Cool When Your Anger is Hot!

by June Hunt (signed copy)

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship

by Leslie Vernick (signed copy)

When a Man You Love Was Abused

by Cecil Murphy (signed copy)

How to Forgive … When You Don’t Feel Like It

by June Hunt (signed copy)

Men are Like Waffles — Women are Like Spaghetti

by Bill and Pam Farrel (signed copy)

Love Beyond Reason

by John Ortberg

His Needs, Her Needs

by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

Mom’s Needs, Dad’s Needs

by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

The Way to Love Your Wife

by Clifford and Joyce Penner

The deadline for getting your comment into the give-away contest is 9 p.m. on Tuesday, October 11th. The winners will be announced on Wednesday, October 12th. One more thing, the earlier you make a comment, the better your chances of getting the book of your choice (I’ll explain more of the give-away guidelines to the winners on Wednesday). And although you can comment more than once (we want to hear ALL of your specific suggestions and/or encouraging words), each person will only be allowed one entry in the give-away contest.

Thanks again for being a Messy Marriage reader! And don’t forget to spread the word about our giveaway!

*American Association of Christian Counselors

BethSteffaniak

October 10, 2011

Give-Away

32 responses to “Messy Marriage is One Year Old!”

Brandy Mutschler

October 10, 2011 at 3:38 pm

I have appreciated how genuine the writers of Messy Marriage are. I always feel like there is something I can relate to in the blog. I particularly benefited from reading the blog post “you complete me not.” It is so important to remember that as much as our husbands are great men, they are not Jesus Christ and there is no way that they will be able to fill the void in our heart that only Christ can fill. They enhance it, sure… but I knew after reading that post that I had been putting way too much on my husband’s shoulders. 🙂 Now I don’t do that anymore… all the time. LOL

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Stacey

October 10, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Selfishly, I appreciate MM because of the relationship it has created between Beth and me. Beth, you have become a dear friend whom I often thank God for bringing into my life. Through your posts, I’ve gleaned much insight into the dynamics of marriage and God’s plan for us. Congratulations on the anniversary of creating a powerful ministry!! *hugs!*

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Angie Pollard

October 10, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I think what I like about messy marriage is the encouragement to be AUTHENTIC AND REAL. We live in a world where appearance is what ‘matters’ at the expense of truth. MM brings readers back to what REALLY matters. So, thank you!

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Donna Bragdon

October 10, 2011 at 5:15 pm

I would like to see an article emphasizing the importance of NOT sharing issues you’re having with your spouse with your children or parents (emotionally triangulating). Unfortunately I am guilty of doing both in the past and have learned the hard way that it is highly inappropriate. Once you’ve shed a negative light on your spouse to either a parent or one of your children, you are in effect poisoning that person’s opinion of your spouse forever. Our spouses should be able to trust us not to blacken their reputation with anyone, just as we trust them to do the same with us. The Golden Rule applies not just to what we do but also to what we say.

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Julie_Sanders

October 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm

How awesome to have so many books to give away! You are very sweet to “do lines” for love of your readers. 😉 I think some encouragement on in-law relationships would be helpful and practical for wives in the trenches.

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Gwen

October 10, 2011 at 9:36 pm

I have only recently found your FANTASTIC blog Beth. It is all in God’s perfect timing. I have been tempted to “call a friend” and complain recently but instead I bit my tongue and prayed about it. Thank you instilling that reminder and strength.

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CMK

October 10, 2011 at 9:37 pm

There are several things I appreciate about the Messy Marriage blog. Here are just a few.(1) I appreciate your passion for writing and sending frequent posts. I don’t think most people have any idea how time consuming an endeavor like Messy Marriage can be. I’m thankful that you are committed to it.(2) I appreciate your personal transparency with your and Gary’s marriage. I’ve often wondered about the dynamic in your relationship now that you and Gary are being so transparent with your readers. Do you still argue from time to time – and then in the midst of that disagreement look at each other and say – “this is something we need to share in Messy Marriage.” For some reason, I simply have to believe that being transparent with each other and with your readers has improved your and Gary’s relationship. Not because you guys are “on display” for the world to see, but because you are keenly aware of each other and how you both desire to have an awesome, God-centered relationship.(3) I appreciate the professionalism of your posts. Your post are very well written and the examples and scriptures used are in perfect harmony. I guess I see what you are doing as similar to how a pastor prepares a sermon.(4) I appreciate that you are seeking God about what needs to be shared with your readers. It’s clear that you want God to use you and your posts to help people struggling in life – whether in marriage or otherwise.(5) I appreciate that your posts are based on God’s word. You do a great job of sharing how you struggle at times with how your own internal thoughts and feelings may be challenged by a truth from God’s word. God’s word is your guide.Congratulations for turning 1 year old. I’m looking forward to seeing how God will continue to use you and this blog to help transform the lives of people who are struggling in relationships.

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Vicki L.

October 10, 2011 at 11:28 pm

I would love to see something in the future written about intimacy in a marriage when one or both spouses have suffered abuse in the past. Thanks!

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Tori

October 11, 2011 at 12:31 am

I love MM! Thank you for being so transparent and willing to share the struggles you’ve experienced and the wonderful lessons God has given you the opportunity to learn. Your posts are always timely…thank you, Beth…thank you, God!I would love to read more about unequally yoked marriages and raising children with special needs and how both of those things make marriages messy. I will keep praying that God continues to use you and Messy Marriage to have amazing impact!LY,Tori

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chasenajsmom

October 11, 2011 at 12:55 am

I have to say my favorite posts so far have been about Unhealthy Alliances- being too dependent on our parents and also being a “protector parent”. I am one who enjoys not rocking the boat overtly- but I’ll sure so it Passive Aggressively! I wouldn’t go directly to my spouse if I thought he was being unreasonable with one of our children. I would likely just not be diligent about enforcing a rule or consequence, denying how that really hurts his relationship with me and our children. Now I am better about asking him about his reasoning, and sometimes talking it through will either help me understand his point of view, or maybe help him see how his method of communicating might be seen as unreasonable. I also appreciate how Messy Marriage points to God’s Grace- we may be Christians, but we are continually in process. Recognizing we are a mess should not discourage us because we aren’t perfect, but assist in helping us grow. Your insights and suggestions are applicable to where I am right now, and I don’t have to “have it all together” before I can make changes.Thanks!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:20 am

Thanks so much for the kind words about MM! And yes, I’ll get right on the passive-aggressive approach in marriage. It rears its ugly head in more than one way!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:22 am

Tori, your words are so encouraging to me! And I will try my best to write on those two topics. Maybe I can get Kimberly to address some of the issues related to children with special needs. So glad she’s on the team!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:24 am

Wow! Thank you so much for your very specific and numerous encouragements! It really helps me to know what’s working and what’s not. And yes, Gary and I have grown soooo much in our marriage with the challenge of this blog. You’ve got to get it right if you want to wave the banner! Thankfully, it’s not our efforts but our yieldedness to God that counts!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:26 am

So glad that it has been timely and helpful, Gwen! That’s what I’m learning too – that even “little things” like prayer can a have HUGE impact on our marriages!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:28 am

The lines? No problem! The time just flew by with the thought of giving away a great read to my readers! And thanks for the suggestion. I have had plans to do much more on the whole in-laws subject. It really is packed with possibilities! Thanks for stopping by!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:36 am

You are so right, Donna. I’ve written a couple of posts on those subjects – “Unhealthy Alliances – To Leave or Not to Leave” and “Marriage Mistake #6 – Turned to Mom for Comfort.” So if you’ve missed them, check them out. But I’ll definitely explore those issues some more, because, as you’ve said, it can be very destructive to a marriage or in-law relationship. I also think that being careful about what we say about our spouses to “anyone” could be a great idea for a post in the future. Thanks for the ideas!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:38 am

Thank you so much, Angie! That’s what I’ve been aiming for. I want Messy Marriage to be a safe place, where we are real about our struggles but always redemptive because of Christ. It’s a difficult balance to strike, but I’m trying very hard to do it! Thanks again!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:42 am

Thank you so much, Stacey! It’s really sweet of you to say. You’re affirmations are making me want to say, “Awww, shucks!” But seriously, I appreciate YOU so much too. I’m so glad God has brought us together and can’t wait to see what He does with Messy Marriage and Messy Marriages! *hugs, right back at ya!*

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 1:47 am

Haha! You’re right, Brandy, it is such a challenge not to want our husbands to be our gods! I don’t know what we’re thinking when we do it, though! It clearly makes NO sense! 🙂 Thanks so much for your encouraging words and we will keep on keeping it real! It’s the only way to be around here at Messy Marriage!

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Nikki

October 11, 2011 at 2:03 am

Congrats on one year Beth! I love reading your blogs and even though I am now divorced, I still find your messages and transparency insightful and relevant to me and my relationships. And I definitely want to be aware and on the look out for “messy issues” in any future relationship that God has planned for me. Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I thank God for putting you in my life. You are a special lady :)Love,Nikki

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Nikki

October 11, 2011 at 2:06 am

oh, and one of my favorite posts is the very recent one on forgiveness Nikki

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Diana

October 11, 2011 at 2:11 am

I love how Beth is very real in her blog. She has been through challenges and isn’t afraid to admit it. In fact, that ‘s probably one reason we all like her! And, she is very witty as well! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Beth, and helping others in the process!

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carissa graham

October 11, 2011 at 5:51 pm

i really love your blog. all of the wisdom you share is so Godly and so beneficial for us striving to have a Gospel-centered marriage. when you said you struggle sometimes with this: “What you feel is wrong or doesn’t matter, so keep quiet!” i completely related. me too! it’s always comforting knowing i’m not alone in my struggles.http://www.carissagraham.com

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Thanks so much, Nikki! I think you bring up a very good point, “Messy Marriage” isn’t just for married people. I hope that singles, either never married or divorced, will see the value in preparing for that marriage relationship like you have. Thanks for making that point!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 9:33 pm

And forgiveness is one of “my favorite subjects!” 🙂

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Thank you so much! It’s really sweet of you to say that, Diana! And it’s my pleasure to provide a place where we all can be real with our messes–knowing just how great Christ is in cleaning them up for us! Yay, God!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 9:47 pm

I feel so privileged to hear your words of encouragement, Carissa. And, regarding that particular post, I’m glad that it comforted you to know you’re not alone. That’s part of the mission of Messy Marriage – to support one another no matter how big our messes may be. Thank God, He is the Great Redeemer of messes!

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messymarriage

October 11, 2011 at 9:49 pm

That’s something I’d like to see too. I will be praying that God helps me to know just how to, or even who should, speak to that subject in the future. Thanks, Vicki, for the great idea.

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Rosann

October 12, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Congratulations on your 1 yr blog anniversary! I’m coming up on mine in February. It’s been such a fun journey. These books look great! I read another book by Bill and Pam Farrell recently and for the life of me I can’t remember the title. Was it Red Hot Monogamy? I’m drawing a blank. But it was a great book. I’m new to your blog so need some time to look around before I can answer for sure what I appreciate most or what I’d like to see more of. I love the look of your blog, particularly your header graphic and colors. And of course, any wholesome Christian content is always encouraging to me. So I’ll definitely be visiting again. Blessings,Rosann

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Anna-Marie

October 15, 2011 at 7:47 am

Oh dear I missed this as I was on Holiday in Greece. Great give away Thanks for sharing on the NOBH:)

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messymarriage

October 16, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Sorry that you missed the give-away, but I bet “Greece” was worth it! haha! Hope you had a great time and thanks for stopping by!

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messymarriage

October 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Thanks for stopping by Rosann! And I’ll have to check your blog out too. Sorry that you missed this give-away, but there’ll be others. Keep on checking back!

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Messy Marriage is One Year Old!

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