By Stacey Micklevitz
One evening, not too long ago, my husband Bryan and I were on our way to our Small Group Bible Study. Because Bryan had been caught in traffic, which made him arrive home late from work, we had decided to pick up fast food and eat it in the car on the way to our group.
We quickly chose to enjoy Arby’s fine cuisine, and Bryan drove up to the microphone to place his order: “I’ll have (he placed the family’s order) and a crispy McChicken sandwich.”
I couldn’t contain myself as my loud laughter overwhelmed the car. I could hear the Arby’s employee reply “what??” as if he had heard Bryan speak a foreign language.
Bryan corrected his order, and we pulled forward. Bryan blurted out to me – partly in embarrassment, but mostly in frustration. “He KNEW what I meant!”
I’m assuming the Arby’s employee REALLY knew what Bryan wanted, but was it his place to guess? After all, we were at Arby’s NOT McDonald’s. I had quite a bit of fun with this and took advantage of every opportunity to razz Bryan over the debacle. His only real reply to me was, “Junk!” to which I commented “No, Honey, junk is what you get on the McChicken sandwich you ordered at Arby’s!”
Have you ever had a messy drive-thru experience? Sure, I’ve received the wrong order. Sometimes it was because I honestly ordered the wrong thing or I’d forgotten to verify that I wanted that item PLAIN. However, most often, by the time I’ve received my bag of goodies handed to me at the pick-up window, there’s been some sort of communication breakdown that has resulted in my bag of goodies being far from my original order.
It’s true; I must say I’m very particular about what and how I place an order in the drive-thru lane. I am crystal clear about what I want. I am also super sickening sweet in my delivery to the order-taker. Let’s face it; I was once an irresponsible fast food restaurant worker who is now painfully aware of what can happen in the kitchen. When my food is at the mercy of other hands, I take care to be overly nice.
How different is this from our marriage relationships?
We find ourselves often battling messes because of communication breakdowns. Results often differ from what we expect because husbands and wives communicate differently. Girls, our husbands do not read minds. They don’t know what we want if we don’t tell them. And, they are far from willing to play guessing games when we think we are dropping sneaky hints their way.
Why is it that we are clear, concise, and polite with strangers, yet, we are vague, demanding and rude with our spouses? We expect MORE from our spouses. Let’s give the more in return!
There is a reason that God has commanded us to respect our husbands (Eph 5:33). Respect takes effort – it does not come easy. Politely, lovingly express to your husband what you want and need from him. You will most likely find that he is more than willing to please you when you show him love and respect.
Thanks goes out to our very first guest writer –
Stacey finds joy in being the wife of Bryan, and the mom of three year old Ethan and one year old Elijah. In between diaper changes and mommy-do’s, Stacey also finds time to write. Her most current project is a marriage book entitled, Making Home Improvements.