Some of you may know that I’ve lived with a chronic illness, Rheumatoid Arthritis, for many years. I was diagnosed soon after the birth of my middle son, who’s 20 now! Yikes! It’s hard to believe it’s been that long! Thankfully, my RA is well-managed, even though it often limits me in some aspects of life.

Now I’m facing another illness that can be a bit more unnerving—breast cancer. But with both illnesses, the hardest part for me has been how it’s affecting me physically, not only in the limitations it will bring (and has brought), but also in the physical destruction it leaves in its wake.

And both of those concerns directly affect my marriage.

My husband has been so wonderful to pick up the slack when I’ve needed it, to be patient and understanding of me when I’ve needed it, to love me unconditionally when my body and looks begin to fail me—and him …

But I have to confess, I have a hard time accepting those limitations and disfigurements in myself.

Can you relate?

Now, in spite of all of that, God has richly blessed me, because even though I’ve endured years of debilitating inflammation and countless high-powered drugs that often do just as much damage as they do “good” for me, I’m still in fairly decent shape. And please hear me when I say this—I’m not complaining in any sense of the word! I know my illnesses and struggles could be so much harder and more painful. I guess I’m simply processing out loud what has been the hardest part for me to face as a wife with chronic and serious illnesses.

I know that many of you have chronic and debilitating illnesses too and you’ve found a productive and joyful way of living with your spouse in spite of and sometimes even because of the affliction you bear. I’d love for you to share with us …

What have you found that’s been helpful to you, your spouse and/or your marriage?

And to those of you who are married to a chronically or seriously ill person …

What have you found that’s been helpful to you, your spouse and/or your marriage?

And to those of you who are experiencing an ever-growing divide in your marriage due to your illnesses or your spouse’s illnesses …

What do you need help with? Are there questions I could address here?

Ways I could pray for you? Resources you’d like for me to provide?

I really don’t like sharing about my illnesses or my limitations, but I feel God’s urging to share more with all of you about the struggles that cancer will bring to my life and marriage in the days and months ahead. I’m doing this because I believe so many of you can relate and may even long for this part of marriage—the messy, ugly side of pain and affliction—to be spoken to and discussed here.

“The Lord has established Zion, and in her His afflicted people will find refuge.” -Is. 14:32b (NIV)

“For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from him but has listened to his cry for help.” –Psalm 22:24 (NIV)

Photo by Elena Pardo de la Morena

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Joining with NOBH, Works for Me Wednesday, To Love Honor and Vacuum, Wisdom Wednesday, Whimsical Wednesday and Wholehearted Wednesday

Now, it’s time for Wedded Wednesday!

WW rules:

Write in any way you feel inspired about marriage, parenthood or anything that is spiritually encouraging.

1. Enter in a permalink directly to your blog post and not the main URL to your blog.
2. Be sure to include a link to Wedded Wednesday or add the WW button (code is in MM’s footer) to your current blog post and/or sidebar.
3. Visit and comment on at least one other person’s blog that’s linked up here.
4. Please no offensive or inappropriate content or sexually explicit images!

Optional but encouraged:

1. Consider setting up your Gravatar profile and Disqus Profile with a link to your blog … it makes it so much easier for all of us to find those of you who blog!
2. If you have the time, visit those who visit your blog and comment at their place as well … sort of a “Say it forward.”

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