Why I Didn’t Leave My Husband

My husband and I are leading a marriage group through our church, using the book, Intimate Encounters. In the first chapter you’re asked to complete a marriage inventory that reveals how strong you are in specific areas of your marriage. It wasn’t a surprise to me that our strongest area is and has always been the spiritual area.

I’m certain that if we didn’t have that spiritual strength in our marriage, we wouldn’t be together today.

May 30, 1987

As you might have read from my “Beth’s Story” page, my husband and I have had a messy marriage and it hasn’t always been easy to stay or feel committed to our marriage. I’ll admit, I’ve certainly been “tempted” to think that divorce would provide that much needed “escape” from my pain.

Don’t get me wrong—I realize that in some situations, divorce is not a “choice” or at the very least, not a choice you necessarily would want.

I’m not talking about that today.

What I’m talking about is having a messy marriage that has worn you down, mess after exhausting and hurtful mess, and you’re tempted to give up but God doesn’t want you to …

That’s where my husband and I found ourselves years ago.

Thankfully, God met us there in that pit—in our time of despair and hopelessness—on more than one occasion. I give Him full credit for lifting us out and giving us a “firm place to stand.”

So what am I saying kept us together?

And what keeps us growing closer and more deeply in love even today?

I believe it is Christ giving us the ability to persevere. As we trust and surrender our marriage to Him on a daily/minute-by-minute basis, He teaches us to love each other better even in the worst of circumstances.

After all, it’s one thing for me to love my spouse when all is going well and he’s treating me like I’m the center of the universe. But that’s not reality … at least not sustained reality. Anyone who’s been married for longer than a year will tell you that!

In other words, Christ taught us to truly love one another because of, not in spite of, the messy and painful situations we went through, and even now, on occasion, go through.

I really don’t think I would’ve known how to be a conduit of God’s love in my spouse’s life, without the training ground that difficulty and pain provide.

What about you?

What keeps you and your spouse together?

What practices do you have that strengthen your bond?

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” Psalm 40:1-2 (NIV)

One more thing … Messy Marriage is beginning a new Link-Up for all of you “Blog Hoppers” out there! Yay! Please come on by and link up with your stories of marriage and parenthood at Wedded Wednesday starting on the 30th!

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Today we’re happy to join e-Mom for Marriage Monday on the topic of “commitment.” Check out who else we’re linking up with – NOBH, Monday’s Musings, Marriage Moment, Matrimonial Monday, and Playdates with God

BethSteffaniak

January 28, 2013

Bonding, Choices, Christ-Centered, Commitment, Divorce, Faith in God, Perseverance, Trials

86 responses to “Why I Didn’t Leave My Husband”

Ugochi

January 28, 2013 at 1:36 pm

It is the same for us Beth, allowing Christ to hold our marriage. Love for Him and our desire to please Him kept us trusting and persevering.
Thanks for sharing, I pray someone will be encouraged.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:01 pm
  
  I’m glad we’re kindred spirits in this fight to remain committed in our marriages, Ugochi. I’m so thankful for His grace and love working through me and through you. Thanks for your encouragement, my friend!
  
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LuAnn Braley

January 28, 2013 at 2:08 pm

Ditto. Love the “Wedded Wednesday” theme. Will be back for that. Oh yay, you have a button in your sidebar. No ifs, ands or buts, God is the only reason DH and I are still together. We’ve both at one time or another had to draw on that power that comes from obedience to Him.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:02 pm
  
  So glad you’re drawing from God’s power too, LuAnn. It makes all the difference, doesn’t it? And I’m also encouraged to know you’ll be joining me for Wedded Wednesday! I’m super excited to have our first link up! 🙂
  
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LuAnn Braley

January 28, 2013 at 2:08 pm

Ditto. Love the “Wedded Wednesday” theme. Will be back for that. Oh yay, you have a button in your sidebar. No ifs, ands or buts, God is the only reason DH and I are still together. We’ve both at one time or another had to draw on that power that comes from obedience to Him.

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Denise Oldham

January 28, 2013 at 3:29 pm

Bless you, thanks for keeping it real.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:03 pm
  
  You’re welcome, Denise. Thanks for stopping by!
  
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Lisa notes…

January 28, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Loving each other because of, not just in spite of. Beautiful, Beth. We don’t always think like that, but it is true. Those messes are our growing ground to be more transformed into the image of Christ. Thanks for your encouragement.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:04 pm
  
  It’s more of a hindsight kind of realization, isn’t it, Lisa? We can’t see it when we’re going through the pain, but we certainly see it on the other side of God’s redeeming work! Thanks for stopping by, my friend!
  
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Christina@toshowthemjesus.com

January 28, 2013 at 3:55 pm

I have played around with the thought of divorce a few times. When the pain is so intense, you just want to escape it. But time and again, God’s grace has intervened. These days, I rest all my trials at the feet of Christ through prayer because I can’t do this marriage thing on my own and in my own strength. And I’m excited to see you are having a link up on Wednesdays. We can link up posts about parenting as well as marriage?

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:07 pm
  
  Yeah, I think sometimes Satan plants a few of those ideas in our heads–although I’m certain I had enough culpability to go down that road all by myself! Thanks for being vulnerable enough to let me know you struggled in this way at one time as well, Christina. It’s nice not to have to stand out there all alone! 🙂 And yes, you can write on either marriage or parenthood. Both topics are welcome! Looking forward to it, sweet friend!
  
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Christina Fox

January 28, 2013 at 3:55 pm

I have played around with the thought of divorce a few times. When the pain is so intense, you just want to escape it. But time and again, God’s grace has intervened. These days, I rest all my trials at the feet of Christ through prayer because I can’t do this marriage thing on my own and in my own strength. And I’m excited to see you are having a link up on Wednesdays. We can link up posts about parenting as well as marriage?

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Amy @ Out on a Limb

January 28, 2013 at 4:21 pm

Divorce never entered my mind, but it crossed my husband’s lips a passel of times — he tends toward more drama than I do, and used to rely on empty threats. They never worked.
God found us in the pit a few years ago, and it does take resolve to come out of it. Divorce, in the mind of many, is always an option. God planted an uncanny stubbornness in my soul and mind about it. I will fight for my marriage. I’ve done it the wrong way many times, but have learned to correct myself and to share with my husband how I’ve done it.
Faith paths differ. Understanding God differs. Spouses are not always (or even usually) on the same page. Our constant is Christ. My husband can’t always name that link, but it’s very, very clear to anyone knowing our story.
Can’t wait to have a link-up. I learn a lot, and love to share, too!

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:09 pm
  
  Your words remind me that part of what made my commitment to Christ strong was my husband’s commitment to Christ. If he had wavered, I’m not sure I would have stood so strong. And I’m so glad you have an “uncanny stubborness planted by God!” He knows what we need for the journey, doesn’t He, Amy? Thanks so much for weighing in and I look forward to seeing you at the link-up! Yay!
  
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Amy M.

January 28, 2013 at 4:21 pm

Divorce never entered my mind, but it crossed my husband’s lips a passel of times — he tends toward more drama than I do, and used to rely on empty threats. They never worked.God found us in the pit a few years ago, and it does take resolve to come out of it. Divorce, in the mind of many, is always an option. God planted an uncanny stubbornness in my soul and mind about it. I will fight for my marriage. I’ve done it the wrong way many times, but have learned to correct myself and to share with my husband how I’ve done it.Faith paths differ. Understanding God differs. Spouses are not always (or even usually) on the same page. Our constant is Christ. My husband can’t always name that link, but it’s very, very clear to anyone knowing our story.Can’t wait to have a link-up. I learn a lot, and love to share, too!

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Alicia Bruxvoort

January 28, 2013 at 4:24 pm

This is powerful—- Christ taught us to truly love one another because of, not in spite of,— a line I will teach my children. No doubt, it’s only by God’s grace that my husband and I have stuck through all the messes of the past 19 years. And my man’s AMAZING Christ-like servant-heartedness sure helps, too 🙂

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:11 pm
  
  I’m so glad you have an amazing Christ-like man, Alicia. God blessed me with one too and I don’t take for granted just how important that has been to us staying committed in marriage. Thanks so much for your sweet words of encouragement, my friend! I hope you can join us at Wedded Wednesday too! 🙂
  
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Alicia Bruxvoort

January 28, 2013 at 4:24 pm

This is powerful—- Christ taught us to truly love one another because of, not in spite of,— a line I will teach my children. No doubt, it’s only by God’s grace that my husband and I have stuck through all the messes of the past 19 years. And my man’s AMAZING Christ-like servant-heartedness sure helps, too 🙂

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Pam

January 28, 2013 at 5:18 pm

Love the commitment you and Gary display, Beth…always inspiring. :o)

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:12 pm
  
  Thanks so much, Pam. I have to say, you were on my mind when I wrote this post. Praying for you! God will make a way!
  
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Pam

January 28, 2013 at 5:18 pm

Love the commitment you and Gary display, Beth…always inspiring. :o)

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GreatPeaceAcademy

January 28, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Oh what a really great reminder, that we can turn our messy stuff over to the Father. He knows all about it anyway and if we submit our will to His will then we can have a healthier and more fruitful marriage.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:13 pm
  
  Yeah, trying to hide our messy stuff never quite works with God–or our spouse’s for that matter! haha! Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me!
  
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GreatPeaceAcademy

January 28, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Oh what a really great reminder, that we can turn our messy stuff over to the Father. He knows all about it anyway and if we submit our will to His will then we can have a healthier and more fruitful marriage.

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Pamela

January 28, 2013 at 8:43 pm

What has helped us is being willing to give the 60 or 70%. There are times I need to be the 70%er. Other times my husband needs to give the 65%. He may have extra pressure at work, I may have physical issues. It’s not always an even 50/50. We decided early in our marriage to be willing to give what the other can’t. Right now he’s working on a doctorate and I’m willing to do without as much me/him time, help around the house and willing to do as many things on his load as possible. Believe me, there’s been many times he’s given the 70%.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:14 pm
  
  I’m so glad you and your spouse are willing to pick up the slack in your marriage when needed. That’s so important to persevering and staying committed in a relationship. Thanks so much for coming by and adding to the discussion, Pamela!
  
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Pamela

January 28, 2013 at 8:43 pm

What has helped us is being willing to give the 60 or 70%. There are times I need to be the 70%er. Other times my husband needs to give the 65%. He may have extra pressure at work, I may have physical issues. It’s not always an even 50/50. We decided early in our marriage to be willing to give what the other can’t. Right now he’s working on a doctorate and I’m willing to do without as much me/him time, help around the house and willing to do as many things on his load as possible. Believe me, there’s been many times he’s given the 70%.

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edelweisstexas1

January 28, 2013 at 8:47 pm

Thanks for stopping by my post today. I appreciate your honesty as well. The messy side of marriage is not something they tell you about before hand. We stand there with stars in our eyes and think we will be this happy every .single. day… To quote The Grinch, “WRONG-O!!”

I have found that in our marriage, sticking it out and remaining committed through the junk of life, we are now bound even tighter to one another. When Dave was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago, the first thing our son-in-law said was,

“The both of you are already so close, I can’t imagine what that’s going to look like when the 2 of you come out on the other side of this!”

No one knows me like Dave and vice-versa. Not only that, we love each other in SPITE of what we know about each other! It’s more than true love, it’s tried and true love!
Connie

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:15 pm
  
  Your words remind me of the old saying, “You can let life turn you bitter or make you better.” I think that you and your husband have allowed God to make you better and on top of that–closer! What a winning combination! Thanks so much for coming by and weighing in!
  
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edelweisstexas1

January 28, 2013 at 8:47 pm

Thanks for stopping by my post today. I appreciate your honesty as well. The messy side of marriage is not something they tell you about before hand. We stand there with stars in our eyes and think we will be this happy every .single. day… To quote The Grinch, “WRONG-O!!”I have found that in our marriage, sticking it out and remaining committed through the junk of life, we are now bound even tighter to one another. When Dave was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago, the first thing our son-in-law said was,”The both of you are already so close, I can’t imagine what that’s going to look like when the 2 of you come out on the other side of this!”No one knows me like Dave and vice-versa. Not only that, we love each other in SPITE of what we know about each other! It’s more than true love, it’s tried and true love!Connie

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grantham lynn

January 28, 2013 at 9:42 pm

Your post blessed me. It’s true sometimes we do just have to stick it out and trust. I find myself saying ‘for this I have Jesus’ and leaning on him. Thanks for sharing these truths.
Have a wonderful week.
Sherry

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 28, 2013 at 10:17 pm
  
  Yes, and I’m so glad we “have Jesus” in our lives and marriages. Without Him we certainly not have the commitment that He alone can provide. Thanks so much for your encouragement of me, Lynn!
  
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grantham lynn

January 28, 2013 at 9:42 pm

Your post blessed me. It’s true sometimes we do just have to stick it out and trust. I find myself saying ‘for this I have Jesus’ and leaning on him. Thanks for sharing these truths. Have a wonderful week.Sherry

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Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:01 pm

I’m glad we’re kindred spirits in this fight to remain committed in our marriages, Ugochi. I’m so thankful for His grace and love working through me and through you. Thanks for your encouragement, my friend!

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Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:02 pm

So glad you’re drawing from God’s power too, LuAnn. It makes all the difference, doesn’t it? And I’m also encouraged to know you’ll be joining me for Wedded Wednesday! I’m super excited to have our first link up! 🙂

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Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:03 pm

You’re welcome, Denise. Thanks for stopping by!

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Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:04 pm

It’s more of a hindsight kind of realization, isn’t it, Lisa? We can’t see it when we’re going through the pain, but we certainly see it on the other side of God’s redeeming work! Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

LikeLike

Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:07 pm

Yeah, I think sometimes Satan plants a few of those ideas in our heads–although I’m certain I had enough culpability to go down that road all by myself! Thanks for being vulnerable enough to let me know you struggled in this way at one time as well, Christina. It’s nice not to have to stand out there all alone! 🙂 And yes, you can write on either marriage or parenthood. Both topics are welcome! Looking forward to it, sweet friend!

LikeLike

Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:09 pm

Your words remind me that part of what made my commitment to Christ strong was my husband’s commitment to Christ. If he had wavered, I’m not sure I would have stood so strong. And I’m so glad you have an “uncanny stubborness planted by God!” He knows what we need for the journey, doesn’t He, Amy? Thanks so much for weighing in and I look forward to seeing you at the link-up! Yay!

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Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:11 pm

I’m so glad you have an amazing Christ-like man, Alicia. God blessed me with one too and I don’t take for granted just how important that has been to us staying committed in marriage. Thanks so much for your sweet words of encouragement, my friend! I hope you can join us at Wedded Wednesday too! 🙂

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Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:12 pm

Thanks so much, Pam. I have to say, you were on my mind when I wrote this post. Praying for you! God will make a way!

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Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Yeah, trying to hide our messy stuff never quite works with God–or our spouse’s for that matter! haha! Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me!

LikeLike

Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:14 pm

I’m so glad you and your spouse are willing to pick up the slack in your marriage when needed. That’s so important to persevering and staying committed in a relationship. Thanks so much for coming by and adding to the discussion, Pamela!

LikeLike

Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:15 pm

Your words remind me of the old saying, “You can let life turn you bitter or make you better.” I think that you and your husband have allowed God to make you better and on top of that–closer! What a winning combination! Thanks so much for coming by and weighing in!

LikeLike

Beth Steffaniak

January 28, 2013 at 10:17 pm

Yes, and I’m so glad we “have Jesus” in our lives and marriages. Without Him we certainly not have the commitment that He alone can provide. Thanks so much for your encouragement of me, Lynn!

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e-Mom

January 29, 2013 at 1:15 am

A beautiful wedding photo! Sharing spiritual strength together is the best “glue” of all. Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Beth. Blessings, e-Mom ღ

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 30, 2013 at 12:56 am
  
  Thanks, e-Mom. And yes, spiritual strength is like glue–super glue! I’m so glad we have a super God that provides us the strength to stay committed. Thanks, as always, for the great link-up and writing prompt. 🙂
  
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e-Mom

January 29, 2013 at 1:15 am

A beautiful wedding photo! Sharing spiritual strength together is the best “glue” of all. Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Beth. Blessings, e-Mom ღ

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nice A

January 29, 2013 at 2:46 am

I like this part of your post most, “Christ taught us to truly love one another because of, not in spite of, the messy and painful situations we went through, and even now, on occasion, go through.” This is exactly what I was saying in my MM post that the messy and painful experiences we’ve been through have taught us Christ-likeness in marriage. How can we ever claim we are Christians if we can’t put into practice real forgiveness even to our very own spouse?

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 30, 2013 at 12:56 am
  
  Yes, I could tell that we were speaking from the same spiritual “place” in our lives and marriages. It’s always great to find another kindred spirit in the blogging world, A. Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me!
  
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nice A

January 29, 2013 at 2:46 am

I like this part of your post most, “Christ taught us to truly love one another because of, not in spite of, the messy and painful situations we went through, and even now, on occasion, go through.” This is exactly what I was saying in my MM post that the messy and painful experiences we’ve been through have taught us Christ-likeness in marriage. How can we ever claim we are Christians if we can’t put into practice real forgiveness even to our very own spouse?

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Becky Kopitzke

January 29, 2013 at 2:54 am

I truly appreciate your consistent honesty and vulnerability here, Beth. You serve us fellow wives with genuine encouragement, always rooted in the only true source of strength and forgiveness, Christ. And I’m excited about your link-up! Yay!

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 30, 2013 at 12:57 am
  
  I feel the same way about your consistent vulnerability at your blog, Becky. I truly appreciate you stopping by and I hope you make it back for Wedded Wednesday, my friend!
  
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Becky Kopitzke

January 29, 2013 at 2:54 am

I truly appreciate your consistent honesty and vulnerability here, Beth. You serve us fellow wives with genuine encouragement, always rooted in the only true source of strength and forgiveness, Christ. And I’m excited about your link-up! Yay!

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Tami Boesiger

January 29, 2013 at 3:14 am

Love this:

“I really don’t think I would’ve known how to be a conduit of God’s love in my spouse’s life, without the training ground that difficulty and pain provide.”

Amen. Hard times are a crash course in loving. Agreed.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 30, 2013 at 12:59 am
  
  Yeah, I’m so glad I can see that now, because at the time it was really hard to find that surrendered place. Thanks so much for coming by and being an encouragement in my life, Tami!
  
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Tami Boesiger

January 29, 2013 at 3:14 am

Love this:”I really don’t think I would’ve known how to be a conduit of God’s love in my spouse’s life, without the training ground that difficulty and pain provide.”Amen. Hard times are a crash course in loving. Agreed.

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Nancy Franson

January 29, 2013 at 2:17 pm

I’m still mulling last Sunday’s sermon which was about unity in the church. The pastor said something to the effect that we don’t grow in unity by trying harder to achieve unity. We grow in unity as we as we follow Christ and find ourselves moving in the same direction toward him. I think you are saying the same thing about marriage–if we, as husband and wife, are moving toward Christ we can’t help but be moving closer together.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 30, 2013 at 1:00 am
  
  Yeah, it reminds me of the marriage triangle – the man and woman are at the bottom corners and their focus leads up to the pinnacle of the triangle as they focus on God. It’s a great analogy, Nancy and I thank you for adding it to the conversation. Thanks also for coming by and encouraging me!
  
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Nancy Franson

January 29, 2013 at 2:17 pm

I’m still mulling last Sunday’s sermon which was about unity in the church. The pastor said something to the effect that we don’t grow in unity by trying harder to achieve unity. We grow in unity as we as we follow Christ and find ourselves moving in the same direction toward him. I think you are saying the same thing about marriage–if we, as husband and wife, are moving toward Christ we can’t help but be moving closer together.

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Ngina Otiende

January 29, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Awww lovely wedding picture!

I love that part of ‘not sustained reality’ – I too have discovered that true love happens in the pits, not the plains 🙂 We understand true live in hardships, not in easy times.

Personally, God has kept growing my trust in HIM.So long as my eyes are on Him, my marriage is safe. It’s about trusting His plan as the author of our marriage.

Thanks so much for sharing this.

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1. Beth Steffaniak
  
  January 30, 2013 at 1:03 am
  
  I love your words – “true love happens in the pits, not the plains.” If you haven’t already, you should write about that, Ngina! Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me so faithfully! I hope you can join us for the Wednesday blog hop!
  
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  1. Ngina Otiende
    
    January 30, 2013 at 2:38 am
    
    I hadn’t thought about it..but now that you speak of it…I’ve saved up the thought on evernote! Thanks! You are hosting a blog hop tomorrow? Will sure join in!
    
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Ngina Otiende

January 29, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Awww lovely wedding picture!I love that part of ‘not sustained reality’ – I too have discovered that true love happens in the pits, not the plains 🙂 We understand true live in hardships, not in easy times.Personally, God has kept growing my trust in HIM.So long as my eyes are on Him, my marriage is safe. It’s about trusting His plan as the author of our marriage. Thanks so much for sharing this.

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Beth Steffaniak

January 30, 2013 at 12:54 am

It truly is powerful, Kelli. Thanks so much for coming by and I’m thrilled that you’ll be back to join me! Hugs to you!

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Beth Steffaniak

January 30, 2013 at 12:54 am

It truly is powerful, Kelli. Thanks so much for coming by and I’m thrilled that you’ll be back to join me! Hugs to you!

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Beth Steffaniak

January 30, 2013 at 12:56 am

Thanks, e-Mom. And yes, spiritual strength is like glue–super glue! I’m so glad we have a super God that provides us the strength to stay committed. Thanks, as always, for the great link-up and writing prompt. 🙂

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Beth Steffaniak

January 30, 2013 at 12:56 am

Yes, I could tell that we were speaking from the same spiritual “place” in our lives and marriages. It’s always great to find another kindred spirit in the blogging world, A. Thanks so much for coming by and encouraging me!

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Beth Steffaniak

January 30, 2013 at 12:57 am

I feel the same way about your consistent vulnerability at your blog, Becky. I truly appreciate you stopping by and I hope you make it back for Wedded Wednesday, my friend!

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