Remember the part of the marriage vow that says, “Till death do us part”?

In our vows, we are referring to a physical death and know that this ensures our promise is for a lifetime.  

But what if it is only in our dying … to ourselves that we really find each other?

It’s no accident that Christ—the true personification of love—showed his love by dying on a cross for us.

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 (NIV)

I know for me there are times when my husband doesn’t inspire me to love him in a dying-to-self kind of way nor do I inspire him—far from it! But those are exactly the times when Christ’s example of sacrificial love is needed.

What if we could see how this Christ-like “dying to ourselves” love would look in our marriages? Would it make us want to surrender more? Would we finally trust Christ to resurrect our “love” just like when he rose from the grave?

Think with me for a moment. Would it look something like this …

• Christ’s love soothing when your spouse shouts obscenities at you.
• Christ’s love being faithful when your spouse turns to another lover—even if the lover is a bottle or a naked image on a computer screen.
• Christ’s love comforting when your spouse tells you that you can’t do anything right.
• Christ’s love satisfying when your spouse doesn’t satisfy or love you any longer.
• Christ’s love cleansing and forgiving when your spouse refuses to give you another chance.
• Christ’s love offering refuge when your marriage is rocked by tragedy and loss.
• Christ’s love sustaining you through the coldness that deepens as your spouse’s apathy grows.

We can’t love our spouses and our spouses can’t love us the way our souls desire. Our marriages are held together by threadbare grit and empty promises—bound for failure. But Christ offers us resurrection power when we die to self—letting Christ’s love live and love through us.

“The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25 (NIV)

photo credit aprillynn77 (Flickr)