Back in September I asked you, our MM readers, to complete a survey that would tell me a bit more about you. One of the things the survey seemed to indicate was that the majority (89.4%) of you are currently not seeing a counselor for marriage or personal issues (which could be a good or bad thing, depending on the reason for not going to a counselor!) and 62.6% of you indicated that you’ve never gone to a counselor.*

This data concerned me.

Now, I don’t want to make the same mistake that fellow blogger and MM anniversary book winner, Joe Pote railed against in his recent and very interesting post, No More Sermon Stats, where he points out that some pastors have used statistics for ineffective, irrelevant and perhaps deceptive reasons to bolster their message and agenda.

But this does give me pause, because this could quite possibly be a fairly accurate snapshot of you.

And if it is, or is even somewhat true, then let me give you some food for thought—because I think seeking the help of a counselor or life-coach has gotten a bad rap!

10 Things Going to Counseling Says about You – 

1. You are humble enough to examine the areas where you got off track and/or need help.
2. You are insightful enough to see that you need help from an objective and trained third-party.
3. You are proactive enough to do the hard work of peeling back layers that have weighed your life and relationships down. (Hebrews 12:1)
4. You are confident enough in your self-worth to allow a skilled and godly counselor to speak truth into you.
5. You are realistic enough to know you need accountability to a trusted counselor, because without it you won’t know how to get to where you want and/or you’ll give up before you make any significant progress.
6. You are vulnerable and authentic enough with yourself and others to admit and embrace your humanity and frailty.
7. You are smart enough to invest in your life and relationships—knowing the hard work of going to a counselor will pay huge dividends in your marriage and other relationships.
8. You are brave enough to go towards the pain.
9. You are faith-filled enough to allow God to redeem and heal your pain through the counseling process. (Proverbs 15:22)
10. You are someone I admire and trust—because I know you aren’t interested in hiding yourself or “playing god” any longer.

What would you add to this list?

What fears do you have about going to a counselor?

If you’d like to know more about my life-coaching services, you can check out my coaching site here. I offer a 43% discount to first-time clients (on a 3 month package) who mention “Messy Marriage” to me in an email or on my site’s contact form. And the great thing about life-coaching is that you don’t have to live near me to take advantage of my services!

*The full listing of statistics under this issue are:
36.4% – I have never gone to a counselor.
34.8 % – I have gone to a counselor for issues not related to my marriage.
36.4% – I have gone to a counselor for marriage issues in the past.
10.6% – I am currently going to a counselor for personal issues.
10.6% – I am currently going to a counselor for marriage issues.

Photo by Concordia University

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Joining with NOBH, Works for Me Wednesday, To Love Honor and Vacuum, Wisdom Wednesday, Whimsical Wednesday and Wholehearted Wednesday

Now, it’s time for Wedded Wednesday!

WW rules:

Write in any way you feel inspired about marriage, parenthood or anything that is spiritually encouraging.

1. Enter in a permalink directly to your blog post and not the main URL to your blog.
2. Be sure to include a link to Wedded Wednesday or add the WW button (code is in MM’s footer) to your current blog post and/or sidebar.
3. Visit and comment on at least one other person’s blog that’s linked up here.
4. Please no offensive or inappropriate content or sexually explicit images!

Optional but encouraged:

1. Consider setting up your Gravatar profile and Disqus Profile with a link to your blog … it makes it so much easier for all of us to find those of you who blog!
2. If you have the time, visit those who visit your blog and comment at their place as well … sort of a “Say it forward.”

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