Recently I wrote a post about the subject of helping my husband. You can refer to it here, if you’d like.
But the idea got me to thinking … there are lots of ways I can help my husband but …
There are also a lot of ways that I think I’m helping my husband when I’m really hurting him or blocking his growth.
So I’m going to list some of those not-so-helpful ways for you today.
My not-so-helpful list:
- When I point out how my husband needs to grow or change before looking at my own need for growth.
- When I think that sarcasm is a funny way to get my point (or criticism) across to my hubster.
- When I think that suffering silently is an unselfish way of giving to him, when it’s really taking away his chance to minister to a need in my life.
- When I bite my tongue before saying my thoughts (which can be good/helpful) but hold onto the resentment that sparked the thought in the first place.
- When I think I’m getting to the heart of the matter by assuming his motives, instead of just asking him what he meant or did—then believing him when he tells me!
- When I withhold information in an effort to avoid a fight … The end does not justify the means!
- When I “guilt him” into doing something for me that might be good/helpful … Again, end doesn’t justify means!
- When I vent to God and friends about him, thinking I’m releasing my frustrations and addressing the problem.
- When I keep score on how much he’s given to me versus how much I’ve given him, in an effort to “balance” the scales in our marriage.
- When I feel like arguing over a matter will convince my husband of
the truthmy truth, when actually God is calling me to a higher place of grace.
Now, remember, my list is not exhaustive, so perhaps you could add a few more of your own in the comment section below! If you would, that would be super, fantastic and extra-splendilly-ishesly helpful to me as well!
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)