Living in a messy marriage for an extended period of time, often leads to depression …

That’s because, whenever we feel we’re unable to escape an overwhelmingly frustrating or oppressive situation, depression has a tendency to develop. It may not be the “marriage” per se that has been the trigger, but a variety of factors that are “pressurized” within the heat of marriage, building to the point of despair.

I’ve battled with depression at various times in my life and marriage. I believe there are individuals who are genetically predisposed to depression, as well as, some who’ve developed depression because of chemical changes or imbalances in the brain, or both.
 

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Others, like me, simply allow our thinking to create a prison of the mind. Here are some questions that I’ve found to be helpful in pulling myself out of that pit …

10 questions to ask when depressed:

• Am I trying to change someone, even God, and they’re resisting?
• Am I using withdrawal or rebellion as a weapon or an escape?
• Am I ruminating on lies that I am unlovable, unlikable, or unimportant?
• Am I choosing to remain inactive as I wait on others, even God, to reach out to me?
• Am I choosing to remain inactive as I wait on others, even God, to do the right things?
• Am I ruminating on what others, even God, aren’t doing that I think they should be doing?
• Am I ruminating on the ways certain others have hurt me?
• Am I more consumed with getting my needs met than being other-focused and giving?
• Am I more consumed with meeting the needs of others than finding times to refuel my own heart and mind?
• Am I more consumed with what others think of me than what God thinks of me?

If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, then you may be adding fuel to an already burning flame. Look back at the ones you’ve selected above and choose to deal with or avoid those actions/attitudes consistently in the future, then you may find yourself regaining perspective and easing your depression.

Here are 2 more questions that can help you map out a workable strategy:

• What specific areas do I need to work on?
• What do I need to do in each area?

Please let me know if you see yourself practicing any of these negative habits listed above, and share with us what you hope to do about it. If you have trouble thinking of a strategy, let me know and I’ll try to help you. Most of all, I promise to pray for those of you who struggle with depression.

Even though it may seem you are all alone, God is there with you.  

Remember …

“He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free …” Psalm 146:7 (NIV)

Linking up with NOBH, Imperfect Prose, Women Living Well, Encourage One Another and New Life Steward