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For those of you who are a product of “old school Christianity” your mind probably went immediately from my invented word “texticator” to “fornicator”—a word we don’t use so much in our everyday vernacular. If so, then I’m glad, because that’s almost how revolting I want this practice to sound to you from now on!

Being a “texticator” means you text not just small, insignificant communications to another, but also text in those moments when you really should be sitting face-to-face and having a meaningful, serious conversation.

I think our world has become so technologically saturated that we’re letting it permeate into the waters of our lives where it clearly should not flow. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard people tell me of in-depth or heated conversations that should’ve been entered into with precision, empathy and caution, but were left to the devises of lightening-fast keystrokes. And yes, I’m talking about married couples doing this, not just singles.

Here are three reasons why I HATE textication …

1.  Miscommunication is bound to happen about significant issues.
The more significant the issue is that’s being discussed, the greater the potential for damage to the relationship. It’s just not worth it!

2.  It stands as a barrier to intimacy in the relationship.
If you’re making a habit of using your phone to text significant messages to your spouse, instead of picking up the phone and calling or talking face-to-face with him/her, then you’re choosing to distance yourself in that relationship. You may not recognize this is as your motivation, and regardless of whether it is or not, it is keeping your spouse at arms length … no, at signal’s length—a much greater chasm than it might seem.

3.  It’s a coward’s way to face conflict.
If you value your relationship at all, you’ll take the challenge to meet face-to-face with your spouse/significant other person to talk through a difficult issue. Good communication is never easy or free of fear, but is always worth it.

You may feel like, “Well, I’ve just gotten into a habit of using my phone for all matters of communication. It’s not my intention to harm my relationship or keep my spouse at a distance.”

That’s just it!

It’s so subtle and insidious, but once you’ve given yourself or your spouse permission to communicate in this way, you’re opening the door to damage. Hurtful words spewed written in the heat of the moment, combined with a feeling of being removed from the receiver, can lead to untold damage and regret to your marriage!

It’s sort of like the old saying, “You can’t unring that bell.” It’s hard to forget what our eyes have read and can go back to and reread again and again when we’re questioning our spouse’s love. Don’t give your spouse or yourself that careless, damaging and lingering message!

One more thing, just as Jesus spoke grace into the life of the woman caught in adultery, so do I want you to hear a message of grace on this matter. I called this problem habit “textication” with tongue firmly in my cheek. However, I do want to sound the alarm about a subtle problem that I see has red flags all over it.

Can you relate? How have you ever let a text message get out of hand? 

Linking up with NOBH, Revive Your Marriage, Playdates with God, Seedlings in Stone and Marital Oneness Monday