Recently, I had a blog reader point out that my post, “Mess-Maker #1 – My Marriage Should Make Me Happy,” deals with the ineffective pursuit of happiness, but doesn’t address the person who is miserable in his or her marriage. After all, you’d think that a blog named Messy Marriage would directly address the person who feels miserable in marriage, wouldn’t you?

I have to confess, there have been times in the very distant past that my marriage was so messy that I felt miserable in it. In fact, there was a time or two that I didn’t necessarily think about divorce, but I did think about suicide. 

 I just wanted the pain to end.

 

That aside, I hope that you can tell I do NOT want to judge or tell the one who feels miserable in his or her marriage that “you just need to do steps one through five, and in time, you’ll feel better!”

What I do know is, God is there with you in your misery. He has not left you—although it may seem like it right now. In fact, you may not want Him with you. You may be blaming Him for your misery.  

After all, why can’t the God of the universe just snap His fingers and make your pain disappear? Right?

I’m not going to even try to answer one of the hardest questions posed since the beginning of mankind. But I will point you to look in the Bible at the life of a man named Job. And if you do, you’ll see that he asked these hard questions too, but God did not give Him pat theological answers, like …

Or

Or

God was big enough and strong enough to handle Job’s doubts. And God is big enough, strong enough to handle yours.

He may not give you all the answers you seek right now, and He may not make all your problems disappear, but He will walk with you—loving and comforting you in the middle of your pain.

I know, because He’s been there for me in all of my times of misery.

Give Him a chance to be there for you too.

“. . . We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God.” 
2 Corinthians 1:8b-9 (NIV)

“My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.” Job 42:5 (NIV)

I’ve included a link here with Bible verses that have been comforting to me when I’ve gone through painful times. Although these verses may not answer any or all of the difficult questions you have, they can provide much comfort and healing.

Photo credit by Alyssa L. Miller (Flickr)

and